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jack - Money, cash.

e.g., To buy that car would take some major jack.

submitted by Tracy

jack - In the card game Egyptian Ratscrew, to use a jack to defeat another player and take their cards.

e.g., Jacked! You lose; I have the entire deck now.

submitted by Aurora

jack benny year - Always greater than a real year, but not greater than two years very often. From Jack Benny's long-standing joke when asked his age that he was 39. Once you're older than 39 in real years, you're always 39 in Jack Benny years.

e.g., How old am I? You want that in Jack Benny years or in real years? | My wife and I are both 39 years old -- in Jack Benny years. But a Jack Benny year for me is longer than one for her.

submitted by HD Fowler

jack of no trades - A man, or any person that is good for nothing. Useless. Has no trades.

e.g., When we went camping I found out that Chris is a Jack of No trades.

submitted by Michele

jack palance - To Jack Palance. To accidentally inhale sharply through both the nose and mouth at the end of a statement, as does actor Jack Palance. This is due either to an oncoming burp or hiccup, or other change of internal pressure.

e.g., So yesterday I fell off of the toilet. ::gasp:: Wow, I just Jack Palanced at the end of that sentence.

submitted by Jared J

jack wagon - Same as saying jack-ass, but without the ass.

e.g., Well, why don't you cry about it, you jack wagon.

submitted by Ian Chamblee

jack-jack - (interj. & adj.) Surprised recognition of another's unexpectedly revealing a talent, skill, or ability. Also (n.) a sleeper: someone whose abilities are kept hidden or secret until needed.

e.g., "Look at that! Deke's playing the piano ... and he's... really good." "Jack-Jack! Who knew he could do that?" | "Talk about a Jack-Jack, I didn't even know Sal could run, let alone pole-vault." | "Okay, we're down by two; we've got to score this time ... Send in Fat Eddie." "Fat Eddie?! What are you sending him in for. He can't run!" "Let's hope that's what the other team thinks, too." "You mean he can run?

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

jack-o-lapple - A fruit carved to look like a Jack-O-Lantern.

e.g., Ms. Alavi has a Jack-O-Lapple in her room.

submitted by Tim P - (www)

jackalope - Someone who is acting without common sense, a dumb person. (Also Lepus-temperamentalus, the dreaded pygmy-deer killer-rabbit cross. Pictured here.) | A woman with large, obviously fake breasts. From the rabbit with a fake rack.

e.g., | C'mon, D, she's not sexy at all. You know she's a jackalope, don't you?

submitted by Powerslave | Derringer - (www)

jackassalope - A very uneducated or foolish person.

e.g., Only a jackassalope would order a steak at a vegetarian restaurant.

submitted by Kandra

jackassery - Acting like a complete jackass. | (rhymes with yeah-MASS-er-bee; n.) 1. Recklessness resulting from abysmal stupidity; 2. Discourse redolent with abysmal stupidity; 3. The cheerful spreading of abysmal stupidity(as by e-gossip); 4. Disorderly, loud protestations which make you sound (even if you're right) abysmally stupid. [From "Jackass" + the nominal -ery.] 5. A place to keep jackasses and jennets, mules and hinnies, and zedonks and zebrets (like a zoo or a paddock). Also 6. An uprising of the abysmally stupid. [An analogy from "jacquerie."]

e.g., Ed: Chris was displaying some quality jackassery in the bar last night. Red: Jackass is Chris's middle name. | I keep getting emails full of nothing but jackassery. | "What is that?" "It's a protest, I think: See the signs?: 'Shame on' ... what company is that? I can't see." "Why are they protesting?" "I think it's something to do with all the road work ... they seem to think that all that paving is going to screw up the tectonic plates or something." "What?! Mess up the tec--- What a load of jackassery." | "I'm lookin' to buy a mule: whaddya got?" "Well, let's head down to the jackassery and see." "Whoa! What is that?" "That's a zedonk, brand new today: just in from a breeder in Carson City."

submitted by Court | Scott M. Ellsworth

jackbutt - Equivalent to jackass. Used by those who can't bring themselves to say the word "ass," such as my teenage niece.

e.g., I would never go out with Chris. He's a jackbutt.

submitted by chey

jacked - Wholly unacceptable. Used to describe a practical joke or act of revenge that has gone too far.

e.g., You set his mom on fire? That's hecka jacked.

submitted by Zippy Von Zippy

jacked - Quite strong, muscular.

e.g., Did you see that bouncer, he was jacked.

submitted by ditnis

jacked - Malfunctioning, not operating properly, or just plain screwed up.

e.g., Yea, that computer's always crashing; it's jacked.

submitted by Ryan Schweitzer - (www)

jacked up - Inappropriate, disrespectful, distasteful or something that is unfair or unjust.

e.g., The way Chris treats Alex is jacked up.

submitted by Knox - (www)

jackerwhad - To make askew.

e.g., I bumped into a door and my glasses were all jackerwhad on my face.

submitted by JENNIFER

jackfucker - Someone whose actions indicate she possesses the heinous attributes of both a jackass and a motherfucker.

e.g., You're directly behind a woman in line at a fast food drive-through who is sorting through her purse, letting other people get in front of her, and drastically increasing your wait. She then drives off without ordering. "Jackfucker!" | E-mail to Bryan_Lambert. Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2001 14:39:03 -0500 Thanks for catching my oversight. Trying to be an editor or copy editor has little in the way of rewards, other than trying to make a good submittal a little better. In the case of "jackfucker," I had a personal interest. One day recently I was driving along a residential street at at least the speed limit -- more than likely a little over the speed limit. Some jackfucker mufflefucked me for about two hundred yards and then sped past me, crossing a double yellow line in the process. Then, less than a quarter-mile away, he turned left into a fast-food place (a Braum’s ice cream parlor -- Braum’s service is notoriously slow) and got in the drive-through lane. I turned right at the same intersection, then thought better of it. Decided I’d try to jackfuck him right back. Why in hell did that jerk find it necessary to roar around me only to almost immediately pull off the road to place a slow food order? Idiot. No, jackfucker! No one else was in the drive-through lane, so I turned around and went to Braum’s myself. I pulled around him since he was still waiting for someone to take his order. I drove to the window and waited there until he pulled up behind me -- at least two or three minutes later. I continued to sit there for a few more minutes before driving off. Probably didn’t actually impede him since Braum’s is so slow, but I did get a measure of satisfaction telling the server that the fellow in line behind me was an idiot. Wish I had known the word "jackfucker." No real problem with "hanus." I just think it’s a word begging for a definition. You should be the one to come up with it. Maybe something along the lines of "hairy ass"? Your call, of course. Thanks for submitting words to Lillith "Væ Victis! Woe to the vanquished."

submitted by Bryan Lambert

jackie - Jacked up.

e.g., The West Side is jackie.

submitted by Heather Crotchett

jackie horner - A busybody, from the nursery rhyme -- one who has to have a thumb in everyone else's pie; one who "horns in."

e.g., Watch what you say in front of her -- she's a compulsive Jackie Horner.

submitted by Bob Riedel

jackin' or jacking - To lie to; to scam or deceive; to joke, kid or mislead.

e.g., Are you jackin' me?

submitted by Gina Ritter - (www)

jackleg - Someone who is a "wannabe" or who appears to be fraudulent in her representation of herself.

e.g., Be wary of jackleg preachers trying to take money from unsuspecting Christians.

submitted by Nicole - (www)

jackleg - Extremely lazy, devious, or rude person. Props to M.F.C. for coining this.

e.g., Chris is a jackleg--always has been, always will be. He used all the milk, put the empty container back in fridge and denied that he did it. He only lies when it's necessary. It's necessary a lot with him.

submitted by Mimi

jacknine - A conjunction of "jackass" and "asinine." For someone or something that is both jackass and asinine. Can also be used to desrcibe a situation.

e.g., Chris, stop acting like a jacknine maniac. This whole day was jacknine -- first my alarm didn't go off, then I was fired, and on top of it all my wife left me. Screw it, my alarm didn't go off, but my wife did. And just because she caught me in bed with Chris.

submitted by Jesse Gililland - (www)

jackoff, jerkoff - Someone who does nothing productive. A procrastinator or a 45 year-old living in a parent's basement. Sometimes hyphenated.

e.g., I wish my jackoff ex-husband would get a job. He's several months behind in alimony payments.

submitted by Lily

jackol - A loud kiss. Smack!

e.g., Honey, I'm home. can you give me a jackol?

submitted by ringo - (www)

jackosity - The state or condition of being a jackass.

e.g., Chris would be a tolerable guy if it werent for his jackosity. Not.

submitted by caramellie

jackrod - Someone whose jackassedness is extremely, unforgivably pronounced. More or less a combination of a jackass and a nimrod.

e.g., Our Hero: What do you mean I can't enter Canada with my cat today? Border Guard: To secure the safety of our citizens, live animals must be quarantined for a period before entry. Our Hero: Stupid Canuck, I'm entering, anyway. Border Guard: Only to the turnaround up ahead. Go any further and you'll be arrested, jackrod.

submitted by clr - (www)

jackside - Another word for your buttocks.

e.g., My jackside really hurts.

submitted by kieran

jackson - To change in color gradually; to mutate, or to desexualize. After Michael Jackson.

e.g., After hiding from the sun and misusing chemicals for years, I had finally jacksoned myself.

submitted by vapid

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