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abreast of fresh hair - Ahead of the pack when it comes to knowing all about the latest in hair styles, coloring, treatment.

e.g., A hairdresser or stylist or model especially might like to keep abreast of fresh hair.

submitted by Paul Edic - (www)

abrief iate - To shorten activity as well as words and phrases.

e.g., OMG -- hv 2 abrief iate da mtg -- mst B at schl 4 tst in 5 mins!

submitted by Charlie Lesko

abs - Asshole Behavior Scale. Logarithmic scale from 1 to 10 used to measure how much of an asshole someone is being. Similar to the Richter scale for earthquakes with each whole number representing an intensity 10 times greater than the next lower number.

e.g., Chris was extremely cranky again today. Had to be at least a 6.2 on the ABS.

submitted by zztzed - (www)

abscotchalater - Related to absquatulate. Abscotchalater: If you've been utlegated you may possibly become an abscotchalater, like Magwitch in Charles Dickens' Great Expectations. Magwitch is the convict that Pip, the central character of Great Expectation, encounters in a churchyard.  Magwitch is an abscotchalater because he's on the run from the law and Pip helps him by getting him a file (to file off his shackles) and some bread. If you've not read the book or seen the movie or the TV series, then let me spoil it for you by telling you that later in life Pip receives a tidy sum of money from an anonymous benefactor, who turns out to be Magwitch -- not the frightfully bitter Miss Haversham. Magwitch returns from Australia, to where he had been transported, but he's still an abschotchalater and he's having a feud with another utlegated character called Compeyson. Compeyson is killed, but Magwitch ends up getting captured and dies before he can be hanged or sent back to Australia (whichever is worse).

e.g., You don't really think the absence of the principle of outfangtheft was going to stop Marshal Dillon when he was chasing abscotchalaters do you? Surely you realize those hills you saw in the background weren't anywhere close to Dodge City.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

absentenious - To be blown into many pieces.

e.g., The bomb made Chris absentenious.

submitted by Christian Harrison

absinthe - A liquid heart medication.

e.g., Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

absitively - Absolutely and positively, with extreme certainty. Sometimes still wrong, though.

e.g., The Chicago Sun Times was absitively sure that Dewey had beaten Truman in 1948.

submitted by Frederick Carraher

absobloodyexactly - Used in conversation when someone says exactly what you were thinking.

e.g., "What do you think of the Welsh?" "A little inbred." "Absobloodyexactly."

submitted by death

absogoddamnlutely - Ultimate absolutely. (One of a group of words relating to certainty: absogoddamnlutely, absopositively, absotively, absotively-posilutely, absotivelyposilutely.)

e.g., I am absogodamnlutely sure I've used this word hundreds of times.

submitted by Sharlene

absolucid - A portmanteau word: absolute plus lucid.

e.g., John meditates because one day he hopes to become absolucid.

submitted by Michael - (www)

absoludacris, absoludacras - Something absolutely ludicrous -- say, Mr. T, for example.

e.g., Drugs are bad. Drugs are absoludacris. | Ludicras is absoludacris.

submitted by gary blaney

absoludicrous - The peak of ridiculousness. Absolutely ludicrous.

e.g., Chris, your blue hair, with what little there is of it on top, looks absoludicrous with that long ponytail. People can tell you're bald.

submitted by Misterkenny - (www)

absolut - The extreme or epitome of. Pinnacle.

e.g., He always gives us absolut intimidation.

submitted by Isaac

absolute insanity - Any speech or actions you can't understand at all.

e.g., My childrens' absolute insanity may be due to a generation gap.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

absolute relativism - This paradoxical concept regards everything that can be known or asserted as only a relative or partial truth. The concept itself, however, is held with absolute certitude that entertains no doubt and asks no questions.

e.g., "Cedric, notice how Professor Strumpeter will always grade you lower if you ever assert that something is established and beyond reasonable doubt. Like a latter day Socrates, he wants you to question even the existence of your own living mother! But notice with what doctrinaire bombast he defends this doctrine of absolute relativism, while he blithely goes home each evening to eat dinner prepared by his own questionably existent mother!

submitted by Dennis R. Ridley

absomaglutamable - Most definitely. (An abomination of absolutely).

e.g., "Hun, would you rub my feet if I put 'em over on you?" "Absomaglutamably."

submitted by Steve Zihlavsky

absonotly - Used when the intent is to most definitely decline.

e.g., I absonotly won't do that.

submitted by Dave Howell

absopause - When, for some odd reason, everyone shuts up and listens when you talk. Rare.

e.g., During the absopause, everyone heard Rob's plan.

submitted by ryan

absopositilutely - "Absolutely" and "positively" combined in different segments.

e.g., You are absopositilutely right.

submitted by Sanje86

absopositively - Absolutely and positively combined. (One of a group of words relating to certainty: absopositively, absotively, absotively-posilutely, absotivelyposilutely.)

e.g., I am absopositively sure that Milton likes you.

submitted by Flame Midnight

absosilence - For those times when everyone in a noisy room becomes silent at the same time with no apparent cause.

e.g., Three-hundred people shut up at the same time. The absosilence was weird.

submitted by ryan

absotively - Combination of absolutely and positively. Usually used an answer to a request. (One of a group of words relating to certainty: absopositively, absotively, absotively-posilutely, absotivelyposilutely.)

e.g., Q: Will you go to the store for me? A: Absotively.

submitted by Eric Shannon

absotivelyposilutely - This is the word you use when you really need to make the point that you are 100% sure of something. It even sounds authoritative. And heck, it's even fun to say because of the way it rolls off your tongue. (One of a group of words relating to certainty: absopositively, absotively, absotively-posilutely, absotivelyposilutely.)

e.g., You might be right about that, Mr. Smartypants, but you'd better be absotivelyposilutely sure before you bet any money on it.

submitted by Donna Hudson

absotutely - Synonymous with "absotivelyposilutely" and its ilk but FAR more authoritative. Also spelled "absotootly" by the great unwashed.

e.g., "Absotutely" is far more erudite and impressive than "absotootly."

submitted by S. Berliner, III - (www)

absquatulate - Long one of my favorite words, it's about time for this to be added to the pd. You can find out more about words of this sort at the linked site, where Michael Quinion mentions that "[Absquatulate] was common enough that it became a favourite bête noire of writers on style in the latter part of the century." From absquatulate, we have "abscotchalater (thieves), one who is hiding away from the police." | "To make off hurriedly, decamp, abscond [with a guilty sense, as He absquatulated with the silver.] [1833 mock-latin "to go off and squat elsewhere"]"    A dictionary of slang, jargon & cant: to disappear, to run away, to abscond The reverse of to "squat," from ab and squat, originally settlers' slang for abandoning a location when fearing an unwelcome visitation, and settling on a more remote spot. You'd thank me to absquatulate, as the Yankees say.… Well, I will in a minute. — Rkoda Broughton: Cometh up as a Flower. Bartlett calls this "a factitious vulgarism." It was in use nearly fifty years ago. At that time running away with money by bank presidents, &c., became very common in consequence of financial panics or collapses, and it was the fashion to coin words from the names of the delinquents, as "to Swartwout" or "to Schylerise," &c. When we reflect that there are many Yankee and Western men accustomed to spelling bees, and perhaps more familiar with the difficult words of the dictionary than are many scholars, it does not appear remarkable that we find in American slang a number of words which have a learned length and Latin sound. To any half-educated man with a fancy for extravagant expression, and familiar with "abscond," "to squattle away," and "perambulate," absquatulate would readily suggest itself in an effort to recall one or the other. Once uttered and heard, it would become popular. To deliberately invent a new word, without some foregoing suggestion or basis, and get it adopted, is one of the rarest events in the world, even in America, where men are continually attempting it. The various slang synonyms are "to skedaddle, to cut one's lucky, to sling one's hook, to mizzle, to bolt, to cut and run, to slip one's cable, to step it, to leg it, to tip the double, to amputate one's mahogany, to make or to take tracks, to hook it, to slope, to slip it, to paddle, to evaporate, to vamoose, to tip your rags a gallop, to walk one's chalks, to pike, to hop the twig, to turn it up, to cut the cable and run before the wind," and in the lingo of the lightfingered and sure-footed gentry, "to make beef, to guy, to speel." — Barrire: Argot and Slang.

e.g., Not that he would have survived, but Muammar Gaddafi might have had better luck if he had absquatulated from Libya with his $200 billion of ill-gotten plunder.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

abstracticulation - Non-Tourette's associated quirky, random, or meaningless body movements.

e.g., My favorite abstracticulator with my favorite abstracticulation is David Byrne of Talking Heads doing the "arm chops" in their lovely 80s video for "Once in a Lifetime."

submitted by steve zihlavsky

abstractify - Abstractificate. To complicate things verbally or through written instructions using illustration, conjecture, hyperbole, or any other means to a point so far from the actual that nothing remains resembling the original idea.

e.g., What in the world was that abstractification about? What does the blue man group, sardines, malevolent envelopes, a bad case of ringworm and the sun's wobble have to do with homemade macaroni and cheese?

submitted by Steve Zihlavsky

abstractional-dopmology - The study of brown dots in any carpet.

e.g., I see you've been catching up on your abstractional-dopmology.

submitted by Tweak

absturniate - (v) To use one's imagination to one's fullest capacity. (n)One who uses it's imagination to it's fullest capacity.

e.g., Writers like Dr. Seuss need absturniate. | The absturniate could imagine a whole world.

submitted by Mason Oeftger - (www)

absuplendous - Absolutely super, splendid and stupendous.

e.g., Tillman's lively, entertaining parties are always absuplendous.

submitted by POPOBOT5000

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