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alcohole - alcahole - (n.) 1. The pit of despair and forgetfulness into which alcoholics and other addicts fall as they lose contact with reality. Sometimes, someone will pull them out; a few, having been in the alcahole themselves, can show them how to get out on their own; and a very few alcoholics find the inner strength to pull themselves out with the help of God, grit, and determination. Such people are to be revered [from alcohol + hole]; 2. A person who, when he's drunk, acts like the biggest jerk in the Orion Spur of the Milky Way [Suggested by my brother, from alcohol + A-hole].

e.g., 1. e.g., Did you ever see the West Wing episode about PTSD? It's called "Noel," and it has a really great little parable in it. It's not about addiction, but mental health in general. Like all such parables, it can be applied to the alcohole fairly easily: "A guy's walking along the sidewalk and he falls into a hole. He can't climb out, so when he sees a doctor walking by the hole, he calls out, 'Doctor! Can you help me out?' The doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it down. Then a priest walks by. 'Father, can you help me please?' The priest writes out a prayer and tosses it down. Finally, the guy sees a friend. 'Hey, Tom! Please, will you help me?' So Tom jumps down into the hole. They guy says, 'What are you, stupid? Now we're both stuck down here!' 'Yeah,' says his friend, 'but I've been down here before; I know the way out.'" 2. George acts like a cross between FitzWilliam Darcy and Duncan McCleod, but when he's drunk, he's a first-rate alcohole.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

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donkeyize - To make an entity overwhelmingly Democrat -- not democratic.

e.g., The more I think about it, the more I think the Democrats in control in mid-1960s Washington wanted to completely donkeyize the country with the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965.

submitted by [donkeyizer] - (www)

alcahole - (n.) The pit of despair and forgetfulness into which alcoholics and other addicts fall as they lose contact with reality. Sometimes, someone will pull them out; a few, having been in the alcahole themselves, can show them how to get out on their own; and a very few alcoholics find the inner strength to pull themselves out with the help of God, grit, and determination. Such people are to be revered. [From alcohol + hole.]

e.g., Did you ever see the West Wing episode about PTSD? It's called "Noel," and it has a really great little parable in it. It's not about addiction, but mental health in general. Like all such parables, it can be applied to the alcohole fairly easily: "A guy's walking along the sidewalk and he falls into a hole. He can't climb out, so when he sees a doctor walking by the hole, he calls out, 'Doctor! Can you help me out?' The doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it down. Then a priest walks by. 'Father, can you help me please?' The priest writes out a prayer and tosses it down. Finally, the guy sees a friend. 'Hey, Tom! Please, will you help me?' So Tom jumps down into the hole. They guy says, 'What are you, stupid? Now we're both stuck down here!' 'Yeah,' says his friend, 'but I've been down here before; I know the way out.'"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

breakfose - (Rhymes with DECK-dose; n.) High sugar breakfast food, such as Honey Smacks and Corn Pops, syrupy fruit cocktails, and heavy cream. [From break (from breakfast) + -ose (chemical combining form meaning "sugar," as in fructose or glucose).]

e.g., Years of red meat and breakfose every morning: little wonder he's diabetic. || A sketch I saw on some comedy show back in the 80s summed up breakfose perfectly: "sugar-filled, sugar-fortified, sugar-enriched, sugar-frosted little bits of sugar ... shaped like tiny servings of protein to throw off your parents."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

nothe - We need this for those of us who in our keyboarding fail to strike the space bar followed by a second t when we intend to key in "not the."

e.g., It's nothe best word creation I've ever come up with, but it will be a useful one for me and HD. Betsy not so much.

submitted by Lillith

solemate - The familiar word soulmate is used for "someone who you have a special relationship with because you share the same feelings, attitudes, and beliefs" | "one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity" | and especially "someone with whom you have a special, almost spiritual connection."

Married couples who have a long and happy marriage are sometimes referred to as soulmates. The one and only person you have a soulmate relationship with could also be called your solemate.

Original only in the sense that I thought of it without ever having seen or heard of it before. It's rather obvious, isn't it? — so it should have been created long ago. … Turns out it has been used many times, but so far I've found it used only to refer to shoes, mostly in conjunction with Girls on the Run. … Have now found it used sort of in the sense I've described it, by filmmaker Bryce Dallas Howard in "a family love story told through shoes."

e.g., Bryce Dallas Howard's film was released February 12, 2015, a year to the day after my solemate died. | She was my solemate, my soulmate, and most assuredly the love of my life. | To say that your life changes dramatically when you lose your solemate is inadequate to express the change felt. The empty feeling can't be described, only felt.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

prisencolinensinainciusol - (PREE-en-COAL-in-AINTS-in-ine-CHEWS-ohl; n.)

1. Universal love; 2. the realization that problems, especially international and intercultural problems, derive from lack of comprehension and the absence of love or patience; 3. A nonsense word exemplifying the lack of comprehension that exists between cultures and nations.

[The title of a popular 1973 song, made up almost entirely of gibberish, which, according to its author, Adriano Celetano, has "as its theme the inability to communicate." See Prisencolinensinainciusol. (2015, June 7). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 22:24, June 15, 2015.]

e.g., 1. "What the world needs now is prisencolinensinainciusol." "Word." "...What?"

2. "One manifestation of prisencolinensinainciusol was Esperanto, created as a universal second language so that intercultural misunderstanding could be done away with." "Did it work?" "Well, yes and no. The Geek world is about the only place you can find Esperanto anymore. ... And they all undersand each other already."

3. "What did the Mongolian contestant want?" "I can't tell; she doesn't speak any English at all." "Does she speak anything besides Mongolian?" "Mandarin and Kazakh." "Crap." "And Klingon." "What? She speaks Klingon?!" "Yeah." "Hey, wait. Miguel speaks Klingon." "The IT guy?" "Yeah. Go get him, quick." "But I don't speak Spanish." "But Lacey does, and she speaks English." "So, wait, the Mongolian lady speaks Klingon to the Spanish IT guy who translates into Spanish for Lacey, from New Zealand, who translates into English for us. Is that how we're doing this?" "Yep. That's it." "Wow. prisencolinensinainciusol." "You said it."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

shalln't - Meaning you shall not do something.

e.g., I shalln't eat my greens mummy.

submitted by Teflonda - (www)

capitalism - The subversion and corporatization or monopolisation of the laissez-faire free market economy by the corporate elite.

e.g., The laissez-faire free market economy of the United States has been subverted and thus corporatised by the corporate elite. Therefore, it is no longer a free market economy in the hands of the individual, but rather a centralised and regulated capitalist one controlled by corporations. {ED. And what is a corporation if not a fiction used in place of an individual? (Corporations, of course, are ultimately owned by individuals collectively.)}

submitted by Darius Radmanesh - (www)

pretaliate - To launch an offense on a potential adversary before they have a chance to attack.

e.g., The US and its allies launched a pretaliatory strike on Iraq.

submitted by Dave Irving - (www)

protoad - (PRO-toe-AD; n.) 1. The first advertisement; 2. a. the source advertisement of a series of similar ads; b. the "pilot" advertisement of an advertising campaign. (PRO-toad; n.) 3. The first of all toads (aka "Toad One" or "Ur-Toad"). (adj.) 4. In favor of toads; the opposite of "pro-frog."

e.g., 1. "Look! There on the wall of the cave! 'Gug make best soup'---it's THE proto-ad." 2. I remember the Benson & Hedges proto-ad: all the long cigarettes getting mashed or cut by doors or windows too close to the smoker. 3. "Look! There on the wall of that deposit! It's the protoad!: the first of all toads!" "Are you crying?" "It's a great moment." 4. Are you protoad? or profrog?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

alvarez - (AL-ver-ez; n.) 1. The asteroid responsible for the Chicxulub (q.v.) crater, the iridium-rich K-T boundary layer, and the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 mya (according to the hypothesis put forward by Luis and Walter Alvarez); 2. metaphorically, an extinction-level event. (adj.) 3. Of or pertaining to either (a) the Cretaceous-ending asteroid impact or (b) any extinction-level event (metaphorically speaking). (verb) 4. To bring about the end of something (an era, a project, a journey, a meeting, a party, a hierarchy, a dynasty, vel cet.) through the application of tremendous, even inordinate, force.

e.g., 1. Okay, we've excavated all the way down to the Alvarez.
2. A big enough rock hits us and it's an Alvarez.
3. a. Sixty-five million years ago, the Alvarez disaster killed all the dinos.
b. The Cuban missile crisis created a possibly Alvarez situation. 4. The October Revolution in old Russia Alvarezed the whole Tsar system.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

tetrapoly - (n.) 1. An intersection with four gas stations or other businesses on its four corners; 2. the four businesses having the largest market shares in whatever they sell or do; 3. the area defined by the urban and suburban areas of four cities. [From Gk tetra "four" + polein "to sell" (for defs 1 & 2), or (def 3) polis "a city."]

e.g., 1. Go straight on until you come to that tetrapoly of restaurants---McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, and Carl's Junior---and then turn east." 2. The Walmart-Costco-Kroger-Safeway tetrapoly control 55% of the grocery market share. 3. Often called the Quad Cities, the tetrapoly of (1) Davenport and (2) Bettendorf, Iowa, and (3) Rock Island and (4) Moline, Illinois, are home to almost half a million people (or probably more than half a million by now: my data's a few years old).

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

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nonster - (n.) 1. A creature normally considered a monster, but whose character, disposition, desires, attitude, or situation ... de-monsterizes it/him/her/whatever; 2. a character everyone expects will be a monster but who turns out to be an ordinary person (or animal).

e.g., 1. "AAAA! It's a 20-foot tarantula!" "Don't worry, that's Tommy; he's a librarian." "A librarian?!" "Yeah. He's a total nonster." "Um ... wow. Well, you learn something new every day, huh?" "He's great with kids." "Seriously?" 2. We were all sure it was the blob, but it turned out to be the janitor. A nonster.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

chauffeuse - (show-FUSE; n.) 1. The woman driving the car; 2. the person in charge of transportation who happens to be female. [The 'correct' feminine form of the masculine "chauffeur."]

I like feminine words, like chauffeuse, because, although I am a fan of neuter agent names (such as doctor, professor, actor, etc.), I much prefer to use the words appropriate to gender from the source language. The choice modern English speakers have made, to simply abandon feminine agentive suffix forms, is, to my mind, insulting to the whole gender. Women don't need to abandon their femininity to be equal to men, and the language shouldn't have to abandon its whole feminine gender out of some bizarre belief that women are somehow ashamed of being women and would rather be labelled with masculine words. Crepes, baguettes, bing, bublik, sourdough, and zwieback are all "bread," I suppose, but not having the more specific terms robs the language of necessary distinctions. And women are more important than bread.

I know, someone will cry foul at this point and assert that I'm trying to "keep women down" or something. Quite the reverse: I greatly admire women (actually, I suppose, I greatly admire everybody who makes things better in this place, something women do admirably ... which is why I admire them). Calling occupations by their feminine names (when performed by women) is hardly denigrating to those who do them. But it IS kind of disparaging (and not a little patronizing) to call women by the masculine labels, making them give up their womanhood before they can be accepted in a given profession. Who you are is much more important than what you do, and men should just man up and accept women, and their feminine suffixes, rather than trying to homogenize everything under masculine labels.

Sorry. I get going and can't really shut up

e.g., Please, would you remind my chaffeuse to be at the back entrance to pick me up at nine o'clock. [ED. Is it "correct" to punctuate a "polite request" such as this with a period?

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

perps 'n vics - (Also "perp 'n vic"; n.) 1. A children's game in which some children play criminals and some play victims, and the perps try to "steal" something (a ball, a flag, vel cet.) from the vics, and the vics try to tag ("arrest") the perps;

2. Any modern cop show featuring cool young cops (who use lots of cop slang ("perp," "vic," "TOD" (time of death), "UTL" (unable to locate), "copy" for "yes," and so on) run around (or drive, or fly, or bike, or whatever's cool that year) nabbing criminals with amazing science no one could possibly afford and loudly confronting enemies (and friends) in super spiffy offices, and getting away with all sorts of things on their way to taking down whoever they're after.
[From the 2012(?) remake of Hawaii 5-0, which uses "perp" and "vic" all the time---and they know how to catch a liar in the act and undertake some amazing car chases ... and they must practice petulant super-serious album face (q.v.) in the mirror every day of a they're shooting episodes.]

e.g., Instead of capture the flag, try perps 'n vics for your little one's birthday party. It's cowboys and indians (which is "offensive") and cops and robbers (very mid-20th century) updated for the modern world.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

celly - A cell phone. | (SELL-ee; n.) A cell mate (as in jail or prison). [Analogy from "roomy" (for "room mate").]

e.g., Just call me up on my celly. |

Jenny: "So, is this the guy you told me about?"
Michael: "Yeah. You'll like him."
Jenny: "Well, he looks good, but we'll see."
Spritzer: "Hey, Mikey!"
Michael: "Spritz, my man!"
Jenny: "Mike, who is this?"
Michael: "Oh, yeah. Spritz, this is my big sister, Jennifer. Jen, this is my old celly, Hal Spritzer."
Spritzer: "Call me Spritz, Ms. Howard."
Jenny: "Jenny, please."
Spritzer: "Jenny!"
Jenny (aside to Mike): How's my hair? (aloud to Spritz) "Wait ... celly? What's a celly? What does that mean?"
Michael: "Oh, sorry man."
Spritzer: "No, no, that's okay. Jenny, your brother and I were cell mates back in---"
Jenny: "Was this back---was this when you were in jail, Mike?"
Michael: "Yeah. My last three months in County. Spritz watched out for me."
Spritz: "Before you ask, I stole a Tazmanian devil from the zoo."
Jenny: "... ... a Tazmanian---?"
Spritz: "It was a bet."
Jenny: "That must have been some bet."
Spritz: "$30,000."
Jenny: "Thirty---?!"
Spritz: "Thousand dollars, yeah. I figured, $5000 per month for six months? Not bad: that translates into a $60,000 a year salary. You know, if I had a job."
Michael: "Wait. Six months? You were only in for three."
Spritz: "I had a good attorney: best that money could buy."
Jenny: "You don't have a job, but you could hire the best attorney in---"
Spritz: "Chicago."
Jenny: "In Chicago. So, how---?"
Michael: "Spritz is rich."
Jenny: "Rich?"
Michael: "Unspeakably. Oil sheiks drool with envy."
Jenny: "Really?"
Spritz: "Hey, Jenny, so you wanna grab a bite or something?"
Jenny (aside to Michael): "How's my hair?"
Michael: "Your hair is fine. Okay, gotta go. She's all yours, celly. Have fun."
Jenny: "So where are we going?"
Spritz: "Spain."
Jenny: "Wow."

submitted by rainbow | Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

boom in the foom - (Also "foom boom"; n.) 1. The sudden expansion of a universe in the quantum foam (into which universes expand); 2. metaphorically, any event sufficiently momentous to disrupt the normal flow of the universe. [Rhyming reduplication created to replace "Big Bang."]

e.g., The Boom in the Foom took place not quite 14 billion years ago ... which, the more we learn, doesn't really seem nearly long enough. | 9-11 was a major foom boom.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

disfocussed - Any conversation that subsequently and inevitably ends with the involved subjects disagreeing about the primary focus of the conversation. This disharmonious course of events and vernacular dissociation ultimately amalgamates and results in the entire interaction being experienced as incoherent and irrevelant cacophony . This cacophony forcefully and unopposedly results in a lack of any focus, thus it is termed as DISFOCUSSED

e.g., Not without good intentions, each person left the scheduled forum feeling that all the communications ended up being, by definition, disfocussed.

submitted by Johnnycheapie - (www)

naaman - (NA-man; prop. n.) 1. A person who refuses to undertake a relatively simple or easy task precisely because it is simple or easy, preferring, instead, something more complicated or more difficult; 2. A person who refuses to purchase something at a low cost because they believe that a higher cost bespeaks a better product.

[From the name of the leprous Syrian general of the Bible's 2 Kings 5:1-19, who at first refused the healing offered by the Israelite prophet Elisha, who had directed him to wash himself in the Jordan River seven times. Naaman declares that Syria's rivers are better than Israel's Jordan, and wrathfully declares Elisha's plebeian remedy an insult. His servants point out that, had Elisha told Naaman to do some great thing to be healed, he would certainly have done so; shouldn't he be willing to carry out a simple רחץ וטהר "wash and be healed"? So he washed, was healed, was no doubt astonished at the salutary effect (and the stubborn stupidity with which he had almost deprived himself of the miracle) and went off rejoicing.]

e.g., The most absurd example of a Naaman in my experience occurred about ten years ago when my firm offered to do some rather complex legal work for a local municipality for a reduced rate of about $150 an hour (which was remarkably inexpensive for the task). They opted to go with a different firm for $400 an hour. They intimated that they had turned us down because they felt that the $400-per-hour charge seemed to them more "professional." I have often wondered what that city's taxpayers would have thought about paying $250 an hour more out of a nebulous sense of "professionalism."

I wonder, given two hair stylists, one who charges $60 and one who charges only $15, why do we presume that the $15 stylist must not be very good? Very Naaman.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

back up - (BACK-up; n.) An exercise/stretching routine beginning with a back bend---hands above the head, with feet and hands flat on the ground---and arching the back up as high as possible on the hands and feet (on your toes, if possible), then relaxing back down without resting the back on the floor. Depending on flexibility, strength, and experience, one may undertake as many repetitions as desirable, although the inexperienced may wind up with serious muscle strain. [Analogy from "push up."]

e.g., My 14-year old daughter loves doing back ups as part of her daily stretches. Of course, she's as limber as kelp; I, on the other hand, am stiff as the sphinx and can't do even one.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

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tehuti - (Rhymes with "day-DOO-tee," n.) 1. A writer, especially a teacher of writing; 2. The person charged with taking care of all report writing, bureaucratic minutia, telephone calls, and so forth; 3. The person who's really in charge of an office (the secretary, rather than the officer). [From the original name of the Egyptian god of knowledge and writing, called by the Greeks 'Thoth'; originally dhwty "ibis-like," sometimes reconstructed djehuty.]

e.g., "Elsa---that's Miss Pavian to you---will be your tehuti." "My what?" "Your composition teacher." || "Okay, our company will need a president, a vice-president, and a secretary." "I voluteer for tehuti." "Te---what's a tehuti?" "Secretary." "Oh. Okay." || "Wow, what a secretarial pool. How many secretaries do you need." "Oh, pretty much all of them. But the tehuti is that woman six rows back on the far left." "The tehuti? Oh, the real power in the office, huh?" "Yup."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

facurate - Factually accurate.

e.g., That show is really funny while presenting stories that are actually facurate.

submitted by ImOnToo - (www)

aquifact - (Rhymes with BACK-the-tact; n.) Something made by water. [From aquis (ablative of aqua) "water" + factus (pp of facere "to make".]

e.g., The Grand Canyon is a magnificent example of an aquifact, but then, so is beach sand and breaking waves and cumulonimbus clouds. Water's cool.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

pedifact - (PED-ee-fact; n.) Something made by a foot (or feet). [From the Latin ped "foot" + factus (pp of facere "to make").]

e.g., Essentially, footprints are the only pedifacts. My favorite pedifacture is squishing wet beachsand between my toes. The prints don't last very long though.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

ventifact - (VEN-tee-fact; n.) Something made by the wind. [From Latin ventus "wind" + factus (pp of facere "to make").]

e.g., Balancing rocks and the pitted sandstone that make such beautiful photographs are almost always ventifacts, the results of ventifacture.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

manufact - (MAN-you-fact; n.) An artifact made by hand. [Back formation from "manufacture": Latin manu "by hand" + factura, pp of facere "to make."]

e.g., Before the industrial revolution and interchangeable parts, almost everything made by anyone was a manufact: bricks, pots, pans, houses, plows, clothes, knives, dice, candles, horseshoes, utensils, castles, coaches, decorations, carpets, crowns, and so on and on. Nowadays, however, manufacts are rare and more valuable for it. We admire works of art for their manufactedness; copies of art are, for us, cheap and plentiful. I have copies of Afremov paintings in my screensaver, but I would expect to pay many thousands of dollars for the originals.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

peter pan - (n.) Allonym for rock and roll music. [From Peter, Greek for "stone, rock" + Pan, Spanish for "bread" (and, by extension, "roll" or "bun").]

e.g., Led Zeppelin is a classic Peter Pan band. | Peter Pan music has been around since the 50s, if not earlier. | "Peter Pan" is a good allonym for rock and roll, which began as a euphemism for sex. | Here's irony: "Peter Pan" will never die. (ha)

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

allonym - (AL-lo-nim; n.) 1. Another name for something or someone. (From the Greek αλλο- (allo-) "other" + -ονυμ (-onym) "name.")

e.g., Nicknames are a subset of allonyms. You might have a friend named "Arthur" whose nicknames are "Artie," "Tuck," and "French Fry." All three are allonyms. However, Arthur is also "Mr. McCorkle," "1638 Oak Avenue or Current Resident," "123-4567" (his cell phone account), "Thomas Butter" (his birth name, before he was adopted), "Dad" (to his sons), "Daddy" (to his daughters), "Pappy Corkle" (to his grandchildren), "Cam" (for 'Camelot'---his wife's name for him), and "son of Andrew and Alice" when he's doing family history. Those are all allonyms.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cone - (v.) 1. To surround, outline, or close off with (usually orange) traffic cones so as to block public entry because the area surrounded, outlined, or closed off because it is under construction, under investigation, under attack, undermined by sinkholes, under the control of psychotics, under consideration for preservation or condemnation, or whatever.

e.g., "I can't find a way out of the mall parking lot; it's all been coned." "Well, fortunately, the mall has restaurants. We'll survive."

submitted by sScott M. Ellsworth - (www)

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