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oneth - (WUNTH, also 1th; adj.) ordinal numeral directly derived from the cardinal "one" rather than the usual "first."

e.g., Dodie Smith's _One_Hundred_and_One_Dalmations_ contains, as its last chapter "The Hundred and Oneth Dalmation." | Neil Armstrong was the oneth man to walk on the Moon; Buzz Aldrin was the twoth; and Pete Conrad was the threeth.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth

ursulus - (ER-suh-lus (rhymes with FUR-the-bus), aka the "Baby Bear Zone"; n.) The "habitable zone" around a star; that is, an area far enough from a star for a planet to have liquid water and a gaseous atmosphere, but not so far out that the water freezes and the gases solidify---the ideal zone (i.e., "just right") for the presence of life. (Often called the "Goldilocks Zone.")  
 
[From Ursus, Latin for "Bear" + suffix -ulus "small."]  
 
The term is taken from the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, in which Goldilocks, a self-serving interloper, surreptitiously enters the bears' house, unlawfully samples the bears' food and furnishings, finding only Baby Bear's "just right." In so doing, Goldilocks destroys Baby Bear's chair and devours Baby Bear's porridge, topping off her delinquent escapade by falling asleep in Baby Bear's bed. It is to be noted that the "just right-ness" is Baby Bear's, not Goldilocks's. Why should we employ such a bad example as a label for a potentially living planet? I prefer to call the life-zone the "Baby Bear zone."

e.g., The recently discovered planet, Kepler 452b, sits right in the ursulus of its star, Kepler 452.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

swain - I'll do my part to rescue the word.

Dr. Goodword Meaning: 1. A country lad, a young farmer, a young rustic. 2. A young male sweetheart, suitor or lover.

Notes: Here is a lovely word about to fall out of use and in need of rescue. It comes with an adjective, swainish, meaning "like a swain," which provides for a noun, swainishness, meaning "boorishness." Be sure not to omit the A when writing this word; otherwise, you will conjure up a radically different image.

In Play: A boyfriend who is so lovestruck as to behave like a farmer is where the second sense of today's Good Word comes from: "June McBride is marrying some simple swain from New York who is goo-goo eyed over her."…

e.g., "'Cast not pearls before swains' -- isn't that what Jesus said?"

"Before swine, Lillith. Before swine. 'Cast not pearls before swine.' By that he meant we should not 'waste good things on people who will not appreciate them.'"

"Stop being pedantic, HD. I know what it means. Tell you what, if you'll stop wearing that silly snout, I'll stop calling you a swine. Deal?"

"Deal."

"All right, no more pig jokes. ... But remember, you're not a swain either."

"Now that that's settled, let's start working up an entry for corybantic.

submitted by [Robert Beard] - (www)

needta - Need to. Similar constructions are gotta and hadta. These a just a few examples of how "Real English" is spoken.

e.g., "What's opa's e-mail adress? I needta ask him something"

submitted by HD Fowler

hotellionaire - (ho-TELL-yuhn-air; n.) 1. An owner of many hotels; 2. someone with a great travel agent, who has access to many high-class hotels when making travel plans, especially if the someone can get inexpensive rates.  
 
[From "hotel" + "lionaire," the possessive suffix attached to large amounts of money, as "millionaire," "billionaire," etc., coined in an Wyndam Hotels advertisement, by a wizard.]

e.g., Have you read Bernard Shaw's Arms and the Man? It turns out, at the end, that the Swiss soldier is actually a hotellionaire. | I don't just have a single time share in Baja; I'm a hotellionaire: I can vacation everywhere from Ireland to Fiji.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

dietrologia - "The science of what's behind it all." Found at the linked page, with its meaning not at all clear in the context in which it was used. |  
 
"Speaking with a veteran foreign correspondent last week I learned an Italian term I hadn't known: dietrologia. The idea is that many Italians believe that the surface or official explanation for something can rarely be the real one. There's always something behind, or dietro, that surface. It's a great word."  
 
"Dietrologo. It is he (it usually is a he) who regularly sees something behind events as they are presented." Also defined as "behindology" -- as in, the science of learning what's behind something.

e.g., "When is a big word too big?  
 
"This is certainly a question worth addressing, and in fact is one that I tackle on a regular basis.  
 
"I didn't respond to your original post as I too fell victim to dietrologia -- we have some history here which causes us to be paranoid regarding people's motives."

submitted by Lillith - (www)

apathsexual - Giving no tender to one's sexual gender, preference or identity. Setting no standard for or pertaining to the possession, use, or desire of any particular set of genitals.

e.g., As an apathsexual, I will judge you on your actions and behaviors, not your sexual identity. (crude) Look, I'm an apathsexual, I don't care WHO you're screwing.

submitted by Tim Reinerman - (www)

papeur - Social network that is designed to share rather large informational posts, called "papers" to papeur. To post a large paper (post). {ED. Although HD initially opposed allowing this submittal to go live, Betsy and Lillith over-ruled him. However, they did agree to his insistence that the site being promoted not be linked to. ... Try pulling this crap again, "Nickolas," and we've all agreed to post your IP address widely. Won't do you any good to use an anonymizer for future submittals -- your IP address has already been captured with this one. That's one of the reasons HD gave in -- if your submittal had been rejected, it would have been much more difficult to get to it.}

e.g., What happened next you'll find in my next paper on papeur.

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heirarchy - A hierarchy made up exclusively of males. Also accommodates misspellings and ytpos.

e.g., Oskar Groening was not convicted of murder. He was convicted of being an accomplice to murder -- for committing acts that benefited the German heirarchy

submitted by Miss Speller

cunfuctuat - Difficult, tempestuous and belligerant individual.

e.g., Yes, she's a confuctuat. ... Even worse, he's pleased with himself for being the way she is.

submitted by Emma Mcdowall - (www)

swot - "An insignificant student who is ridiculed as being affected or studying excessively." | "Today's word is for all speakers aside from those who use British English; this is a well-known member of British slang. It is sometimes spelled swat, and may be used to refer to a person who studies hard all the time. The person may be called a swotter, too. This word may also be used as a regular verb: swot, swots, swotting, and swotted 'to study hard,' which often occurs with the particle up: 'to swot up Shakespeare.'" {Duplicate.}

e.g., "Every time he begged off a night at the pub -- saying he had to study -- his mates teased him for being a swot." | She had a well-deserved reputation for being a swot. | For me to follow what you've written, I'm sure I'd have to swat up undergraduate mathematics.

submitted by Lillith

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forcibly - Related to using force or violence to lightly tap something. {ED. "Carla" didn't give an e-mail address for notification, so I'm guessing she'll be coming back to see if her submittal gets accepted. Good to see that she has no fear of split infinitives. ... Only a throwback such as HD would. Lillith}

e.g., She forcibly kicked herself.

submitted by Carla

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before picture - (n.) Self-deprecating label meaning "I look absolutely awful"; usually used in reference to a photograph that makes you look fat, goofy, sleepy, stiff, pasty, ornery, stupid, zombie-like, or otherwise embarrassingly unpresentable, but also used to describe yourself, or others, prior to remedial adjustments, rearrangements, and ablutions.

e.g., "Look at these pictures from the office Christmas party last year!" "Oh, oh, that's horrible: I look like a halibut." "Don't worry; it's just a before picture." || "Mr. Mayor! Can you comment on the shooting at city hall?" "Yeah, but I just got back from a cabin in Vancouver. I'm a before picture here: I haven't had a chance to change or shower or even read any reports. Give me half an hour and we can meet in the office for a real press conference." "But I came down here to get your take on it before any other news agency." "Tell you what: gimme an hour so I can eat something too, and you can have an exclusive."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

zerophobia - I have what amounts to zerophobia, a fear of .0 software releases. I try to avoid them. I'm willing to wait a while for a .1 release that corrects the bugs in the initial release, the one that introduced new functionality.

e.g., No, I won't be switching to Windows 10 as soon as it comes out. I have zerophobia. I'll wait until I'm forced to switch. Hold a gun to my head? I'd switch.

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applecation - One applies for a job at Apple by filling out an applecation.

e.g., "I think I'll try to get an internship with Apple next summer. My third year will be behind me, so it might be about time for me to get some experience working. I'll soon be twenty-six you know. Mom and Pop are about ready for me to move out. They've already threatened to stop paying for my health insurance. They says it's gotten too expensive and's still going up."

"Growing up can get rough. … Say, where's Apple located?"

"Cupertino."

"That's in Cali, right? Not too far from San Francisco? Isn't it pretty expensive to live there?"

"Yeah, but one neat thing is this: Apple pays for your housing. How about that? The neatest thing, though, is these are internships that pay."

"Hmmm, how much? Do they pay you in peanuts?" "Not exactly. It's a real job, not playing house. A friend of mine earned $38,000 there last summer -- in two months. And that doesn't include his housing."

"Wow. That's a lot. Where do I get an applecation to fill out?"

"That's the bad part. They're scarcer than hen's teeth. Even worse, they aren't interested in education majors. Not unless you have a graduate degree."

"Drat. I nope my folks'll keep footing the bill for me for another five or six more years."

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We're sorry, but due to technical difficulties, we can't process your online applecation right now. We apologize for the inconvenience and hope to have this issue fixed shortly. Meanwhile, if you prefer, you can send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to our headquarters in Cupertino. We expect to have paper applecations available in 90 to 120 days.

Thank you for your interest in working for Apple. Have a good one.

submitted by [applecation] - (www)

suspective -

The following is taken verbatim from Dr. Goodword's alphaDICTIONARY, except for the strikeout and substitution.
Pronunciation:sê-sep-tiv Hear it!

Part of Speech: Adjective

Meaning: 1. Sensitive, easily affected by something, susceptible. 2. Open to new ideas or suggestions, receptive.

Notes: We are all familiar with susceptible (remember that the ending is -ible, not -able), but today's word is less often used. The meanings of these two adjectives are similar, but while susceptible refers to weak resistance (susceptible to colds), susceptive refers to an openness, especially to things new. This word has several relatives, though their meanings vary a bit. A susceptor is a sponsor or godfather. Susceptivity is the best noun for this adjective, though susception is possible, too.

In Play: You will find many situations around the office where today's Good Word applies: "Mr. Farthingsworth was very susceptive to my reorganization plan except for the part requiring his resignation." This word applies equally well to labor and management: "I find Will Dolittle found Dave Perkins less than susceptive to hints that he apply himself more diligently to his work."

Word History: Today's Good Word is yet another Latin captive that English has never released. Its Roman name is susceptivus, the adjective from suscipere "to catch, support, sustain." This verb is a touched-up version of the combination sub "below, under" + capere "to take, seize." When the Romans added the suffix -er to sub, they came up with its antonym super "above, over." In fact, Latin created sub from a combination of ex "out (of) + upo "from under," so it originally meant "out from under." The implication of motion upward here probably led to the meaning of super. The Germanic languages didn't fool around with PIE upo this way but merely converted it to German auf "on" and English up.


The word was used as early as 1731, but has been used only sporadically since. Peaks of use since its introduction into English have occurred around 1810, 1907, 1962, and 1984. {Duplicate.}

e.g., As the following examples suggest, it's not easy to find the open-to-new-ideas use of suspective. In several of the examples I found, the word was used almost as if it were a synonym for suggestive -- which, on second though, is something I should have suspected I'd find.

  • Nothing, says he, was now wanting to finish the Scheme, but to bring the Sovereign into the Party, whose easy and too unguarded Nature and Indulgence to the Clergy, made her suspective of Insinuations to her Prejudice; which was the Rock upon which the Nation split. (1731) |
  •  Van Helmont; seems to have been the first who apprehended this, but he having rendered himself suspective on other occasions, his opinion could not make its way ; but the vulgar one still prevailed, except in a sew persons who could see that experience was for him. (1742) |
  •  Honor is not simply truthfulness: it is truthfulness sparkling with the fire of a suspective personality. It is something more than an ornament even to the loftiest. — George H. Calvert. (1933) |
  • One hundred biopsies were performed on 88 cases suspective of schistosomiasis, and eggs were found in 76% of them. (1964) |
  •  Excavations larger than that are suspective to be glaucomatous. Differences between both eyes of the same individual of more than 20% are also suspective for glaucoma. (1977) |
  • It also indicates that the Akas have a suspective attitude towards magic, as they believe that it is somewhere, on some occasion, still being practised secretly.  (1977) | 
  • In my day we used to keep things in their proper suspective. Don't you never read the papers about all them unflocked priests running around?  (1977, referring to Archie Bunker on All in the Family) |
  • States are increasingly uncertain, suspective of the opposite side, and mistrustful of the sincerity of the intentions declared.  (1986)
  • These questions being asked everywhere with the suspective eyes of the millions of people with thirsty throats, on the earth, to day.(1987) |

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alcohole - alcahole - (n.) 1. The pit of despair and forgetfulness into which alcoholics and other addicts fall as they lose contact with reality. Sometimes, someone will pull them out; a few, having been in the alcahole themselves, can show them how to get out on their own; and a very few alcoholics find the inner strength to pull themselves out with the help of God, grit, and determination. Such people are to be revered [from alcohol + hole]; 2. A person who, when he's drunk, acts like the biggest jerk in the Orion Spur of the Milky Way [Suggested by my brother, from alcohol + A-hole].

e.g., 1. e.g., Did you ever see the West Wing episode about PTSD? It's called "Noel," and it has a really great little parable in it. It's not about addiction, but mental health in general. Like all such parables, it can be applied to the alcohole fairly easily: "A guy's walking along the sidewalk and he falls into a hole. He can't climb out, so when he sees a doctor walking by the hole, he calls out, 'Doctor! Can you help me out?' The doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it down. Then a priest walks by. 'Father, can you help me please?' The priest writes out a prayer and tosses it down. Finally, the guy sees a friend. 'Hey, Tom! Please, will you help me?' So Tom jumps down into the hole. They guy says, 'What are you, stupid? Now we're both stuck down here!' 'Yeah,' says his friend, 'but I've been down here before; I know the way out.'" 2. George acts like a cross between FitzWilliam Darcy and Duncan McCleod, but when he's drunk, he's a first-rate alcohole.

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donkeyize - To make an entity overwhelmingly Democrat -- not democratic.

e.g., The more I think about it, the more I think the Democrats in control in mid-1960s Washington wanted to completely donkeyize the country with the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965.

submitted by [donkeyizer] - (www)

alcahole - (n.) The pit of despair and forgetfulness into which alcoholics and other addicts fall as they lose contact with reality. Sometimes, someone will pull them out; a few, having been in the alcahole themselves, can show them how to get out on their own; and a very few alcoholics find the inner strength to pull themselves out with the help of God, grit, and determination. Such people are to be revered. [From alcohol + hole.]

e.g., Did you ever see the West Wing episode about PTSD? It's called "Noel," and it has a really great little parable in it. It's not about addiction, but mental health in general. Like all such parables, it can be applied to the alcohole fairly easily: "A guy's walking along the sidewalk and he falls into a hole. He can't climb out, so when he sees a doctor walking by the hole, he calls out, 'Doctor! Can you help me out?' The doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it down. Then a priest walks by. 'Father, can you help me please?' The priest writes out a prayer and tosses it down. Finally, the guy sees a friend. 'Hey, Tom! Please, will you help me?' So Tom jumps down into the hole. They guy says, 'What are you, stupid? Now we're both stuck down here!' 'Yeah,' says his friend, 'but I've been down here before; I know the way out.'"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

breakfose - (Rhymes with DECK-dose; n.) High sugar breakfast food, such as Honey Smacks and Corn Pops, syrupy fruit cocktails, and heavy cream. [From break (from breakfast) + -ose (chemical combining form meaning "sugar," as in fructose or glucose).]

e.g., Years of red meat and breakfose every morning: little wonder he's diabetic. || A sketch I saw on some comedy show back in the 80s summed up breakfose perfectly: "sugar-filled, sugar-fortified, sugar-enriched, sugar-frosted little bits of sugar ... shaped like tiny servings of protein to throw off your parents."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

nothe - We need this for those of us who in our keyboarding fail to strike the space bar followed by a second t when we intend to key in "not the."

e.g., It's nothe best word creation I've ever come up with, but it will be a useful one for me and HD. Betsy not so much.

submitted by Lillith

solemate - The familiar word soulmate is used for "someone who you have a special relationship with because you share the same feelings, attitudes, and beliefs" | "one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity" | and especially "someone with whom you have a special, almost spiritual connection."

Married couples who have a long and happy marriage are sometimes referred to as soulmates. The one and only person you have a soulmate relationship with could also be called your solemate.

Original only in the sense that I thought of it without ever having seen or heard of it before. It's rather obvious, isn't it? — so it should have been created long ago. … Turns out it has been used many times, but so far I've found it used only to refer to shoes, mostly in conjunction with Girls on the Run. … Have now found it used sort of in the sense I've described it, by filmmaker Bryce Dallas Howard in "a family love story told through shoes."

e.g., Bryce Dallas Howard's film was released February 12, 2015, a year to the day after my solemate died. | She was my solemate, my soulmate, and most assuredly the love of my life. | To say that your life changes dramatically when you lose your solemate is inadequate to express the change felt. The empty feeling can't be described, only felt.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

prisencolinensinainciusol - (PREE-en-COAL-in-AINTS-in-ine-CHEWS-ohl; n.)

1. Universal love; 2. the realization that problems, especially international and intercultural problems, derive from lack of comprehension and the absence of love or patience; 3. A nonsense word exemplifying the lack of comprehension that exists between cultures and nations.

[The title of a popular 1973 song, made up almost entirely of gibberish, which, according to its author, Adriano Celetano, has "as its theme the inability to communicate." See Prisencolinensinainciusol. (2015, June 7). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 22:24, June 15, 2015.]

e.g., 1. "What the world needs now is prisencolinensinainciusol." "Word." "...What?"

2. "One manifestation of prisencolinensinainciusol was Esperanto, created as a universal second language so that intercultural misunderstanding could be done away with." "Did it work?" "Well, yes and no. The Geek world is about the only place you can find Esperanto anymore. ... And they all undersand each other already."

3. "What did the Mongolian contestant want?" "I can't tell; she doesn't speak any English at all." "Does she speak anything besides Mongolian?" "Mandarin and Kazakh." "Crap." "And Klingon." "What? She speaks Klingon?!" "Yeah." "Hey, wait. Miguel speaks Klingon." "The IT guy?" "Yeah. Go get him, quick." "But I don't speak Spanish." "But Lacey does, and she speaks English." "So, wait, the Mongolian lady speaks Klingon to the Spanish IT guy who translates into Spanish for Lacey, from New Zealand, who translates into English for us. Is that how we're doing this?" "Yep. That's it." "Wow. prisencolinensinainciusol." "You said it."

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shalln't - Meaning you shall not do something.

e.g., I shalln't eat my greens mummy.

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capitalism - The subversion and corporatization or monopolisation of the laissez-faire free market economy by the corporate elite.

e.g., The laissez-faire free market economy of the United States has been subverted and thus corporatised by the corporate elite. Therefore, it is no longer a free market economy in the hands of the individual, but rather a centralised and regulated capitalist one controlled by corporations. {ED. And what is a corporation if not a fiction used in place of an individual? (Corporations, of course, are ultimately owned by individuals collectively.)}

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pretaliate - To launch an offense on a potential adversary before they have a chance to attack.

e.g., The US and its allies launched a pretaliatory strike on Iraq.

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protoad - (PRO-toe-AD; n.) 1. The first advertisement; 2. a. the source advertisement of a series of similar ads; b. the "pilot" advertisement of an advertising campaign. (PRO-toad; n.) 3. The first of all toads (aka "Toad One" or "Ur-Toad"). (adj.) 4. In favor of toads; the opposite of "pro-frog."

e.g., 1. "Look! There on the wall of the cave! 'Gug make best soup'---it's THE proto-ad." 2. I remember the Benson & Hedges proto-ad: all the long cigarettes getting mashed or cut by doors or windows too close to the smoker. 3. "Look! There on the wall of that deposit! It's the protoad!: the first of all toads!" "Are you crying?" "It's a great moment." 4. Are you protoad? or profrog?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

alvarez - (AL-ver-ez; n.) 1. The asteroid responsible for the Chicxulub (q.v.) crater, the iridium-rich K-T boundary layer, and the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 mya (according to the hypothesis put forward by Luis and Walter Alvarez); 2. metaphorically, an extinction-level event. (adj.) 3. Of or pertaining to either (a) the Cretaceous-ending asteroid impact or (b) any extinction-level event (metaphorically speaking). (verb) 4. To bring about the end of something (an era, a project, a journey, a meeting, a party, a hierarchy, a dynasty, vel cet.) through the application of tremendous, even inordinate, force.

e.g., 1. Okay, we've excavated all the way down to the Alvarez.
2. A big enough rock hits us and it's an Alvarez.
3. a. Sixty-five million years ago, the Alvarez disaster killed all the dinos.
b. The Cuban missile crisis created a possibly Alvarez situation. 4. The October Revolution in old Russia Alvarezed the whole Tsar system.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

tetrapoly - (n.) 1. An intersection with four gas stations or other businesses on its four corners; 2. the four businesses having the largest market shares in whatever they sell or do; 3. the area defined by the urban and suburban areas of four cities. [From Gk tetra "four" + polein "to sell" (for defs 1 & 2), or (def 3) polis "a city."]

e.g., 1. Go straight on until you come to that tetrapoly of restaurants---McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, and Carl's Junior---and then turn east." 2. The Walmart-Costco-Kroger-Safeway tetrapoly control 55% of the grocery market share. 3. Often called the Quad Cities, the tetrapoly of (1) Davenport and (2) Bettendorf, Iowa, and (3) Rock Island and (4) Moline, Illinois, are home to almost half a million people (or probably more than half a million by now: my data's a few years old).

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nonster - (n.) 1. A creature normally considered a monster, but whose character, disposition, desires, attitude, or situation ... de-monsterizes it/him/her/whatever; 2. a character everyone expects will be a monster but who turns out to be an ordinary person (or animal).

e.g., 1. "AAAA! It's a 20-foot tarantula!" "Don't worry, that's Tommy; he's a librarian." "A librarian?!" "Yeah. He's a total nonster." "Um ... wow. Well, you learn something new every day, huh?" "He's great with kids." "Seriously?" 2. We were all sure it was the blob, but it turned out to be the janitor. A nonster.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

chauffeuse - (show-FUSE; n.) 1. The woman driving the car; 2. the person in charge of transportation who happens to be female. [The 'correct' feminine form of the masculine "chauffeur."]

I like feminine words, like chauffeuse, because, although I am a fan of neuter agent names (such as doctor, professor, actor, etc.), I much prefer to use the words appropriate to gender from the source language. The choice modern English speakers have made, to simply abandon feminine agentive suffix forms, is, to my mind, insulting to the whole gender. Women don't need to abandon their femininity to be equal to men, and the language shouldn't have to abandon its whole feminine gender out of some bizarre belief that women are somehow ashamed of being women and would rather be labelled with masculine words. Crepes, baguettes, bing, bublik, sourdough, and zwieback are all "bread," I suppose, but not having the more specific terms robs the language of necessary distinctions. And women are more important than bread.

I know, someone will cry foul at this point and assert that I'm trying to "keep women down" or something. Quite the reverse: I greatly admire women (actually, I suppose, I greatly admire everybody who makes things better in this place, something women do admirably ... which is why I admire them). Calling occupations by their feminine names (when performed by women) is hardly denigrating to those who do them. But it IS kind of disparaging (and not a little patronizing) to call women by the masculine labels, making them give up their womanhood before they can be accepted in a given profession. Who you are is much more important than what you do, and men should just man up and accept women, and their feminine suffixes, rather than trying to homogenize everything under masculine labels.

Sorry. I get going and can't really shut up

e.g., Please, would you remind my chaffeuse to be at the back entrance to pick me up at nine o'clock. [ED. Is it "correct" to punctuate a "polite request" such as this with a period?

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perps 'n vics - (Also "perp 'n vic"; n.) 1. A children's game in which some children play criminals and some play victims, and the perps try to "steal" something (a ball, a flag, vel cet.) from the vics, and the vics try to tag ("arrest") the perps;

2. Any modern cop show featuring cool young cops (who use lots of cop slang ("perp," "vic," "TOD" (time of death), "UTL" (unable to locate), "copy" for "yes," and so on) run around (or drive, or fly, or bike, or whatever's cool that year) nabbing criminals with amazing science no one could possibly afford and loudly confronting enemies (and friends) in super spiffy offices, and getting away with all sorts of things on their way to taking down whoever they're after.
[From the 2012(?) remake of Hawaii 5-0, which uses "perp" and "vic" all the time---and they know how to catch a liar in the act and undertake some amazing car chases ... and they must practice petulant super-serious album face (q.v.) in the mirror every day of a they're shooting episodes.]

e.g., Instead of capture the flag, try perps 'n vics for your little one's birthday party. It's cowboys and indians (which is "offensive") and cops and robbers (very mid-20th century) updated for the modern world.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

celly - A cell phone. | (SELL-ee; n.) A cell mate (as in jail or prison). [Analogy from "roomy" (for "room mate").]

e.g., Just call me up on my celly. |

Jenny: "So, is this the guy you told me about?"
Michael: "Yeah. You'll like him."
Jenny: "Well, he looks good, but we'll see."
Spritzer: "Hey, Mikey!"
Michael: "Spritz, my man!"
Jenny: "Mike, who is this?"
Michael: "Oh, yeah. Spritz, this is my big sister, Jennifer. Jen, this is my old celly, Hal Spritzer."
Spritzer: "Call me Spritz, Ms. Howard."
Jenny: "Jenny, please."
Spritzer: "Jenny!"
Jenny (aside to Mike): How's my hair? (aloud to Spritz) "Wait ... celly? What's a celly? What does that mean?"
Michael: "Oh, sorry man."
Spritzer: "No, no, that's okay. Jenny, your brother and I were cell mates back in---"
Jenny: "Was this back---was this when you were in jail, Mike?"
Michael: "Yeah. My last three months in County. Spritz watched out for me."
Spritz: "Before you ask, I stole a Tazmanian devil from the zoo."
Jenny: "... ... a Tazmanian---?"
Spritz: "It was a bet."
Jenny: "That must have been some bet."
Spritz: "$30,000."
Jenny: "Thirty---?!"
Spritz: "Thousand dollars, yeah. I figured, $5000 per month for six months? Not bad: that translates into a $60,000 a year salary. You know, if I had a job."
Michael: "Wait. Six months? You were only in for three."
Spritz: "I had a good attorney: best that money could buy."
Jenny: "You don't have a job, but you could hire the best attorney in---"
Spritz: "Chicago."
Jenny: "In Chicago. So, how---?"
Michael: "Spritz is rich."
Jenny: "Rich?"
Michael: "Unspeakably. Oil sheiks drool with envy."
Jenny: "Really?"
Spritz: "Hey, Jenny, so you wanna grab a bite or something?"
Jenny (aside to Michael): "How's my hair?"
Michael: "Your hair is fine. Okay, gotta go. She's all yours, celly. Have fun."
Jenny: "So where are we going?"
Spritz: "Spain."
Jenny: "Wow."

submitted by rainbow | Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

boom in the foom - (Also "foom boom"; n.) 1. The sudden expansion of a universe in the quantum foam (into which universes expand); 2. metaphorically, any event sufficiently momentous to disrupt the normal flow of the universe. [Rhyming reduplication created to replace "Big Bang."]

e.g., The Boom in the Foom took place not quite 14 billion years ago ... which, the more we learn, doesn't really seem nearly long enough. | 9-11 was a major foom boom.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

disfocussed - Any conversation that subsequently and inevitably ends with the involved subjects disagreeing about the primary focus of the conversation. This disharmonious course of events and vernacular dissociation ultimately amalgamates and results in the entire interaction being experienced as incoherent and irrevelant cacophony . This cacophony forcefully and unopposedly results in a lack of any focus, thus it is termed as DISFOCUSSED

e.g., Not without good intentions, each person left the scheduled forum feeling that all the communications ended up being, by definition, disfocussed.

submitted by Johnnycheapie - (www)

naaman - (NA-man; prop. n.) 1. A person who refuses to undertake a relatively simple or easy task precisely because it is simple or easy, preferring, instead, something more complicated or more difficult; 2. A person who refuses to purchase something at a low cost because they believe that a higher cost bespeaks a better product.

[From the name of the leprous Syrian general of the Bible's 2 Kings 5:1-19, who at first refused the healing offered by the Israelite prophet Elisha, who had directed him to wash himself in the Jordan River seven times. Naaman declares that Syria's rivers are better than Israel's Jordan, and wrathfully declares Elisha's plebeian remedy an insult. His servants point out that, had Elisha told Naaman to do some great thing to be healed, he would certainly have done so; shouldn't he be willing to carry out a simple רחץ וטהר "wash and be healed"? So he washed, was healed, was no doubt astonished at the salutary effect (and the stubborn stupidity with which he had almost deprived himself of the miracle) and went off rejoicing.]

e.g., The most absurd example of a Naaman in my experience occurred about ten years ago when my firm offered to do some rather complex legal work for a local municipality for a reduced rate of about $150 an hour (which was remarkably inexpensive for the task). They opted to go with a different firm for $400 an hour. They intimated that they had turned us down because they felt that the $400-per-hour charge seemed to them more "professional." I have often wondered what that city's taxpayers would have thought about paying $250 an hour more out of a nebulous sense of "professionalism."

I wonder, given two hair stylists, one who charges $60 and one who charges only $15, why do we presume that the $15 stylist must not be very good? Very Naaman.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

back up - (BACK-up; n.) An exercise/stretching routine beginning with a back bend---hands above the head, with feet and hands flat on the ground---and arching the back up as high as possible on the hands and feet (on your toes, if possible), then relaxing back down without resting the back on the floor. Depending on flexibility, strength, and experience, one may undertake as many repetitions as desirable, although the inexperienced may wind up with serious muscle strain. [Analogy from "push up."]

e.g., My 14-year old daughter loves doing back ups as part of her daily stretches. Of course, she's as limber as kelp; I, on the other hand, am stiff as the sphinx and can't do even one.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

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submitted by

tehuti - (Rhymes with "day-DOO-tee," n.) 1. A writer, especially a teacher of writing; 2. The person charged with taking care of all report writing, bureaucratic minutia, telephone calls, and so forth; 3. The person who's really in charge of an office (the secretary, rather than the officer). [From the original name of the Egyptian god of knowledge and writing, called by the Greeks 'Thoth'; originally dhwty "ibis-like," sometimes reconstructed djehuty.]

e.g., "Elsa---that's Miss Pavian to you---will be your tehuti." "My what?" "Your composition teacher." || "Okay, our company will need a president, a vice-president, and a secretary." "I voluteer for tehuti." "Te---what's a tehuti?" "Secretary." "Oh. Okay." || "Wow, what a secretarial pool. How many secretaries do you need." "Oh, pretty much all of them. But the tehuti is that woman six rows back on the far left." "The tehuti? Oh, the real power in the office, huh?" "Yup."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

facurate - Factually accurate.

e.g., That show is really funny while presenting stories that are actually facurate.

submitted by ImOnToo - (www)

aquifact - (Rhymes with BACK-the-tact; n.) Something made by water. [From aquis (ablative of aqua) "water" + factus (pp of facere "to make".]

e.g., The Grand Canyon is a magnificent example of an aquifact, but then, so is beach sand and breaking waves and cumulonimbus clouds. Water's cool.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

pedifact - (PED-ee-fact; n.) Something made by a foot (or feet). [From the Latin ped "foot" + factus (pp of facere "to make").]

e.g., Essentially, footprints are the only pedifacts. My favorite pedifacture is squishing wet beachsand between my toes. The prints don't last very long though.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

ventifact - (VEN-tee-fact; n.) Something made by the wind. [From Latin ventus "wind" + factus (pp of facere "to make").]

e.g., Balancing rocks and the pitted sandstone that make such beautiful photographs are almost always ventifacts, the results of ventifacture.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

manufact - (MAN-you-fact; n.) An artifact made by hand. [Back formation from "manufacture": Latin manu "by hand" + factura, pp of facere "to make."]

e.g., Before the industrial revolution and interchangeable parts, almost everything made by anyone was a manufact: bricks, pots, pans, houses, plows, clothes, knives, dice, candles, horseshoes, utensils, castles, coaches, decorations, carpets, crowns, and so on and on. Nowadays, however, manufacts are rare and more valuable for it. We admire works of art for their manufactedness; copies of art are, for us, cheap and plentiful. I have copies of Afremov paintings in my screensaver, but I would expect to pay many thousands of dollars for the originals.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

peter pan - (n.) Allonym for rock and roll music. [From Peter, Greek for "stone, rock" + Pan, Spanish for "bread" (and, by extension, "roll" or "bun").]

e.g., Led Zeppelin is a classic Peter Pan band. | Peter Pan music has been around since the 50s, if not earlier. | "Peter Pan" is a good allonym for rock and roll, which began as a euphemism for sex. | Here's irony: "Peter Pan" will never die. (ha)

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

allonym - (AL-lo-nim; n.) 1. Another name for something or someone. (From the Greek αλλο- (allo-) "other" + -ονυμ (-onym) "name.")

e.g., Nicknames are a subset of allonyms. You might have a friend named "Arthur" whose nicknames are "Artie," "Tuck," and "French Fry." All three are allonyms. However, Arthur is also "Mr. McCorkle," "1638 Oak Avenue or Current Resident," "123-4567" (his cell phone account), "Thomas Butter" (his birth name, before he was adopted), "Dad" (to his sons), "Daddy" (to his daughters), "Pappy Corkle" (to his grandchildren), "Cam" (for 'Camelot'---his wife's name for him), and "son of Andrew and Alice" when he's doing family history. Those are all allonyms.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cone - (v.) 1. To surround, outline, or close off with (usually orange) traffic cones so as to block public entry because the area surrounded, outlined, or closed off because it is under construction, under investigation, under attack, undermined by sinkholes, under the control of psychotics, under consideration for preservation or condemnation, or whatever.

e.g., "I can't find a way out of the mall parking lot; it's all been coned." "Well, fortunately, the mall has restaurants. We'll survive."

submitted by sScott M. Ellsworth - (www)

wildebeest - (n.) Someone suffering from obesity, according the seven-year-old son of family friends. The actual origin story, as told by his mother: "We were driving in the car and my husband said, "Babe, we've gotta lose weight. I read somewhere that if one parent is obese, there's a 33% chance of the kids being obese, but if both parents are, it goes up to 50% or 90% or something crazy." I asked him teasingly if he was saying I was obese. Then our son interrupted and said, "He was just saying you're NOT 99% wildebeest!"

e.g., "Well, your BMI is up at about 41%." "What does that mean?" "It means you're obese." "Wildebeest." "What? No. You're obese. You've got too much weight on you for your heart, your lungs, your pancreas .... You're going to go diabetic soon, and you probably already have sleep apnea. If you don't do something about it, and fast, you're going to die young. ... You are, quite literally, dying of obesity. Do you understand?" "I think I prefer 'wildebeest.'"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworthh - (www)

neuronics - The study of the brain and the nervous system. This is a more concise synonym of "neuroscience" formed according to the typical model of derivation for names of disciplines (cf. mechanics, electronics, physics, mathematics, linguistics). The term "neuronics" can be used interchangeably with the terms "neuroscience" and "neurobiology." The plural "s" emphasizes the multiplicity of its branches, from molecular neuronics to neuropsychology and neurolinguistics.

e.g., I've spent quite a bit of my time for the last several years on neuronics/

submitted by Mikhail Epstein - (www)

sympsychosis - a union of two or more people who are psychologically dependent on each other; close and long-term interaction making them emotionally inseparable (cf. symbiosis). adj. sympsychotic – based on sympsychosis {Duplicate.}

e.g., The sympsychosis between spouses can either strengthen or destroy their personalities. Dostoevsky masterfully presented sympsychotic relationships among his characters, such as Myshkin, Nastasya and Rogozhin in "The Idiot."

submitted by Mikhail Epstein - (www)

password - A secret code of sorts used to gain entry or to gain passage.

e.g., "What's the password?" "Password? We don' need no password." Bang

submitted by Lillith

multiversics - Scientific study of the multiverse, the multiplicity of parallel worlds, or alternate universes

e.g., The founder of multiversics was Giordano Bruno in his teaching on plurality of worlds (1584). The pioneer of scientific multiversics was Hugh Everett III (1930 – 1982), an American physicist who proposed the many-worlds interpretation (MWI) of quantum physics.

submitted by Mikhail Epstein - (www)

ockham's tonsure - (Also "Occam's tonsure"; n.) _Entia_non_sunt_delenda_praeter_necessitatem, Latin for "things should not be deleted without need." The counter to Ockham's razor, which reads entia_non_sunt_multiplicanda_praeter_necessitatem_ "things should not be multiplied without need"---the idea being, of course, that hypotheses ought to remain simple until some evidence calls for additional aspects to be added to the explanation. In modern terms, simpler explanations are more likely than complicated ones. Ockham's tonsure is my way of cautioning against over-enthusiastic simplification: sometimes, the simplest answer doesn't cut it. It's rare, but it happens.

e.g., B: "Look, Arnie's porch is covered in newspapers. His mailbox is stuffed. And his lights all go on at exactly 10 p.m.---I think he's gone somewhere." C: "Actually, he was kidnapped by aliens." B: "Don't be ridiculous: Ockham's razor says the simpler explanation is probably the right one." C: "But don't forget Ockham's tonsure: the simple answer isn't always sufficient." B: "Well, what evidence do you have to justify the addition of aliens and kidnapping to his simply being on vacation or something?" C: "Witness testimony. I was there." B: "What? Somebody actually saw an ALIEN drag Arnie off?!" C: "Yeah. Me. I was there: It was Quiznob of Bizzorg." B: "Quiznob. Bizzorg. Right. Are you nuts?! You don't expect me to believe this nonsense, do you?" C: "But it's true! Don't be overly Ockhamous." D: "Hey, guys, There's a note here on the door: 'I have your friend. If you want him back, bring me 800 dachshunds, 50 rhyming greeting cards, and a bucket of your Earth petroleum. On the 10th of your month July.' It's signed 'Quiznob of Bizzorg.'" B: "Holy crap." C: "Told you." B: "Ockham's tonsure, huh?" D: "What's a Quiznob?" C: "Don't you think we should start buying dachshunds? And greeting cards?"

submitted by scott m. ellsworth - (www)

able oboe easy queen - (n.) 1. Acronym in military phonetic for "Advanced Ordnance and Equipment," referring to any next-level weaponry or protective armor or other gear; 2. Any TV show that shows, demonstrates, or otherwise lauds some military-scientific breakthrough. [From the words used for A, O, E, and Q in the old Joint-Army-Navy ("JAN") alphabet radio code (promulgated in 1941).]

e.g., The development of radar back in the 30s was a real Able Oboe Easy Queen. So was the invention of wire guided antitank missiles, stealth technology, the vulcan cannon, and attack drones.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

ludomancy - (Rhymes with SUE-no-man-see or too-DOUGH-mun-see; (also spelt (and pronounced) ludimancy; n.) The practice of divining the future by one's victory, defeat, or performance in a game, especially a game of chance. Also applies vicariously to the victory, defeat, or performance of one's chosen (or default) player(s) or team(s). [From ludo, ablative ("out of") singular of Latin ludus "a game" + -mancy, derived from Greek μαντεία manteia "divination"]

e.g., "What is that you're watching?" "Roller derby." "Roller Derby?! I didn't think anyone even knew what that was anymore." "Oh, yeah, big revival back in the---that's GOATING, you imbecile, break up the---...idiot. Goating should be illegal. I'm sorry, what were you saying?" "You're obviously a big fan. Um, is today's game important?" "Well, no, not really: it's the Femmy-Niners against the Clevagettes. Neither team's very good." "So why are you watching?" "This bout will tell me whether I get the Newly account." "What? How?" "Well, if Cleveland wins, I get the account." "How? Is it a bet or something?" "No, it's just the deal I have with the univer---CUTTING THE TRACK?! She did NOT! Who hired that ref? Are you trying to ruin my Newly account chances? You IDIOT!" "Oh, I get it. Ludomancy. I get it. Like when you proposed to Claire because of how far you got in Halo." "Hey, it worked." "No, it didn't. You were 'engaged' for what, ten days?" "Ah, but I was engaged." "Uh-huh. Well, I guess you can't argue with the facts. Good luck to your skaters." "Yeah. Thank---LOW BLOCK! That was a low block, you moron! Are you blind?!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

othermobile - (n.) Any of the various forms of automobile we have developed over the years that do not run on petroleum (i.e., gasoline or diesel): electrical, hybrid, natural gas --- everything from Fred Flintstone's feet to Mr. Fusion. [From "other" + "automobile"]

e.g., "Whoa, new car?" "No, it's an othermobile." "Oh, yeah, I see. It's all over solar panels. Kinda weird." "Yeah, but I pay only about 12 cents for every hundred miles." "Wow." "Yep: wow." || Oh, and so that nobody goes ballistic, I know that Mr. Fusion only powered Doc Brown's flux capacitor, while the Delorean ran on ordinary gasoline---so the Back-to-the-Future time machine was not, in fact, an othermobile. But "Flintstone feet to Mr. Fusion" had a good ring to them; I couldn't help myself.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

oilbow - (n.) 1. The beautiful shifting colors on the oily surface of a street puddle; sadly, however, the word also applies to 2. the beautiful shifting colors of the slick of an oil spill that's befouled everything for miles, killed thousands of animals, occasioned an ecological disaster, and cost everyone hundreds of millions of dollars. (Sort of gives an ironic twist to the "pot of gold" at the end of the rainbow, doesn't it?)

e.g., 1. As my son loaded furniture into my van in the pouring rain, I became engrossed in the slowly turning oilbow at his feet. | 2. After the Gomex well disaster back in 2010, there were amazing oilbows for miles and miles ... it was horrifying.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

wala3ofee - Wala3ofee is the term used to describe a frequent condition among Lebanese people, characterized by spontaneous and impulsive excitement, unexpected enthusiastic reactions, and "losing oneself's" momentarily.

e.g., When Wassim goes fishing, his Wala3ofee kicks in, and he always ends up jumping after the fish out of impatience.

submitted by OhLaLaLaTempête - (www)

cowtow - Kowtow.

e.g., "The media is cowtowing to Islamic attempts to restrict our freedom of speech, which ultimately results in aiding the Islamic efforts to use our freedom of religion against itself."

submitted by [Jim Bell]

pretensident - A pretender to the Presidency of the United States.

e.g., "Pamela Geller deserves the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but she sure ain't gonna get one from the current pretensident."

submitted by [Lysander Spooner]

profit - Prophet.

e.g., "We have free speech no matter what your profit of evil and the devil Muhammed says."

submitted by [Drummie]

enemedia - The media as an enemy of some group, person, or position -- in particular the liberal media's opposition to conservatives and conservative positions.

e.g., "Pamela supports Muslim women by giving them safe houses to avoid honor killings. She's also a brave advocate for Secular Islam and their courageous St. Petersburg Declaration. But you wouldn't learn any of that from all the ignorant know-nothing enemedia parrots."

submitted by [Ganesha_akbar] - (www)

proglodyte - A progressive who is also a troglodyte. "Agnew's conservative posture, and his snide and alliterative phrases attacking the protesters -- 'effete snobs,' 'radiclibs,' 'troglodyte leftists,' and 'nattering nabobs of negativism' produced a plethora of pique."

e.g., "Pamela has done well, by luring the goat humpers to their demise and exposing the proglodytes masquerading as conservatives."

submitted by Lillith - (www)

erradic - Erratic.

e.g., "Here's an entertaining article of Bush's erradic behavior and paranoia from Capitol Blue. Rumor has it (rumor=latest conspiracy theory) that Tenet, Powell, and others were involved in a plot to kill Bush. But things like that don't really happen in our government. ... Tenet resigned 'cause none of his family members that are ill need him and Bush is just paranoid because Osama hasn't been captured after 3 years."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

snogard - A dead dragon.

e.g., "Look, they're selling dead turtles at Kroger's." "Well, we'll be having snogard for dinner this evening. Maybe have the dead turtles later in the week."

submitted by Kitty - (www)

stackle - A stackle is very simple; it's a little line on a basketball. You should know what it is.

e.g., The paint is coming off the stackle. Soon all of the stackles will be gone.

submitted by Dalton

sluggered up - Used when sinuses are all plugged up.

e.g., I am all sluggered up.

submitted by Donna Moore - (www)

deja-true - (n.) The feeling you've seen, heard, or done something, or been somewhere before, ... because you have. You just didn't remember it clearly until you re-experienced it.

e.g., I had deja-true when I visited Albany, NY, way back in '96. I got of the commuter plane and walked into the airport, and I suddenly found myself standing in a familiar room. At first, of course, I thought it was deja vu. Then I realized it was really deja-true: I recognized the room because I'd actually been there before. As children, my brother and sister and I had waited there with our mother every week or so, 35 years ago, for my father to come home from his consultations. I felt amazingly detached all of a sudden, and could almost see and hear my little siblings and young mother sitting there. It was like a gift in the middle of a stressful, state-hopping couple of weeks.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

strenergy - Strenergy is a consistent flow of energy which allows the nodes within your mind to develop key specific charges such as positive and negative to their neighboring neurons; before providing an established connection with one another and establishing another network through the process of multiplicity. It's a strategy and energy of a thought combined to what is called a strenergy. Basically, its an energy wave induced by neighboring positives.

e.g., In order for Harry to successfully complete his project he needed to rely on the strenergy of his thoughts to develop a hypnotic focus enabling his mind to become free from distraction.

submitted by Joseph Mercado - (www)

maletto - Mulatto: "Offspring of a Black and a White parent."

e.g., "Love the avatar. Self-portrait I assume?" "Nope. I am not a maletto. Your dear leader is."

submitted by Miss Speller

fuhrenbunker - (FEW-rin-BUNG-ker; n.) 1. A despot's hidey-hole. 2. A bigwig's growlery (which is a really good word), connoting a bigwig you don't like or who you believe is plotting evil behind closed doors or with his malevolent minions. 3. Enemy headquarters (literal or figurative). 4. a bolt hole or refuge (again, connoting a hefty dose of criminality or atrocity). [From the German "Fuhrenbunker": Hitler's Berlin air-raid shelter/bunker/office complex.]

e.g., When they found Saddam Hussein, he was squatting in a teeny little rat hole: quite a comedown from the opulence he was used to. A miserable excuse for a fuhrenbunker. --------------------------- "The president is being viciously lampooned on al Jazeera." "Well, what a surprise. Last time I watched an al Jazeera broadcast, I was stunned to discover that he's a fascist cannibal who dreams up atrocities in the White House." "Yeah. It's like the SitRoom's a fuhrenbunker or something." --------------------------- "This guy had a nuclear shelter? Why? Does he think it's 1955?" "No, it's more of a hiding place from the Justice Department." "Oh. Let's see." "Let me unlock it here ... there we go." "Holy CRAP! This is not a hiding place; it's a fuhrenbunker!... Is this marble? Is that a fountain? Why didn't he just live in here?" "Oh, well, let me show the actual house." "That bad?" "Worse."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

handy work - Handiwork: 1. Work performed by hand. 2. The product of a person's efforts and actions. | A work produced by hand labor

e.g., "These lowlifes have been rioting since the 60's. Pelosi's daddy and brother were mayors in that declining city and you can see their handy work to this day."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

horse - Hoarse

e.g., "I have been arguing myself horse trying to tell my neighbors and family that the rich and their enforcers are the enemy, not the black community."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

chyorny monakh - (Rhymes with she-OR-he go-LOCK; also pronounced "CHORneemonak"; n.) A quasi-supernatural character (actually the result of a hallucination, a delusion, or an impersonation (or whatever)) introduced into an otherwise realistic story as an expository mechanism or plot element necessary to the theme of the story. [From Anton Chekhov's short story, "Chyorny Monakh" (in the original Russian "Чёрный монах," which means "Black Monk"), in which the main character, Andrey Kovrin, hallucinates a black-robed monk who leads him to believe himself chosen by God for his genius.]

e.g., In some ways, Rappaccini's daughter (from Nathanael Hawthorne's story of the same name), is a Chyorny Monakh, as the science explaining her is fairly impossible and her role is an almost archetypal one, much like the birthmark in his other story, "the Birthmark." | The imaginary people in "A Beautiful Mind"---hallucinated by John Forbes Nash, Jr.---are all Chyorny Monakhs (properly, in Russian, it would pluralize as "Monakhi") (even though Nash actually heard voices; he didn't see hallucinations). I suppose you could call Chyorny Monakhs "Benedictines," since the Order of St. Benedict uses a black habit, like that of Chekhov's monk. But, then again, Chekhov's monk would have to be of an order extant in the Russian Orthodox Church: The analavos worn by the monks of the Great Schema (the highest order). So maybe we should call them "schemas" or, more properly "schemata" (σχήματα, the actual Greek plural).

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cease - Sieze.

e.g., "Type of ship is cargo (container). Flag is Marshall islands. The rest they have not made public and probably won't. Probably will cease the millions of dollars in cargo, then release the ship. And yes, that is the same govt. we are allowing to continue developing the bomb."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

blackmale - Alternative spelling of "blackmail" -- suitable for use when a city is being ravaged by riots involving mostly black males.

e.g., "Baltimore has been 'blackmaled."

submitted by Miss Speller

bulamutumumo - (Pronounced BOO-lah-MOO-too-MOO-moe, n.) 1. Tarzan's pronunciation of the written word "G-o-d," meaning (literally) male-G, female-o, female-d; 2. Any unlearned, innocent perception of God or of the divine; or, more sublimely, 3. the perception of what we call the "conscience," "charity," or "pity": The human desire to be humane. [From Burroughs' "Jungle Tales of Tarzan," published in 1919.]

e.g., Edgar Rice Burroughs reasoned that Tarzan would call capital letters "he," because they were bigger, and the smaller letters "she" because they were smaller. In the language of the Anthropoids who raised Tarzan (in which "tar" means "white" and "zan" means "skin"), "male" ("he") was "BU" and "female" ("she") was "MU." Tarzan called the letter 'g' "la," the letter 'o' "tu," and the letter 'd' "mo." A capital 'G' is a "male g": Bu+la. A lower-case 'o' is a "female o": mu+tu. And a lower-case 'd' is a "female d": mu+mo. So, G-o-d = Bula+mutu+mumo. In Burroughs' short story "the God of Tarzan," Tarzan goes looking for God so as to challenge him and prove to all the apes that Tarzan is the strongest warrior in the jungle. He talks about his quest to challenge God so much that he annoys an older ape who is trying to eat termites in peace. The old ape, trying to shut Tarzan up, finally tells Tarzan to be quiet, adding something like "I am Bulamutumumo! Now be quiet." He quickly takes it back, however, when Tarzan nearly beats him to death, thinking the old ape actually IS God and trying to prove himself ther stronger. Later, Tarzan attacks a local village of humans, thinking to beat up its chieftain, a venerable old man named Mbonga. But when he is about to beat him, he sees, instead of his enemy, a terrified old man. He relents out of pity---an emotion he has never felt before---and returns to the jungle astonished that there is something that can make him feel sorrow and pity, and stop him from attacking, despite his great prowess as a warrior. Stunned, he realizes that whatever it is that turned him back is someone much stronger than Tarzan, indeed, much stronger than anything Tarzan has ever experienced. He realizes that whatever it is must be Bulamutumumo, and he humbles himself before his new Deity.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

arbacadarba - (interj.) 1. a variation on the well-worn magic word "abracadabra" (for variety, if nothing else---it helps distract the audience, too.); 2. a magic word for undoing or altering the result of a magic trick.

e.g., "Abracadabra! and she's gone! ... and arbacadarba! She's back!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

non-squitter - Non sequitur. "1. An inference or conclusion that does not follow from the premises or evidence. 2. A statement that does not follow logically from what preceded it."

e.g., "Nice try at deflection with a non-squitter."

submitted by Miss Speller

ology - From The Free Dictionary: "An informal word (abstracted from words with this ending) for some unidentified branch of knowledge

"discipline, field of study, subject area, subject field, bailiwick, subject, field, study -- a branch of knowledge; "in what discipline is his doctorate?"; "teachers should be well trained in their subject"; "anthropology is the study of human beings"

e.g., Charles Dickens, from Hard Times: "If there is any Ology left, of any description, that has not been worn to rags in this house, all I can say is, I hope I shall never hear its name. | Of all the ologies available for study, I think I might enjoy callipygology -- the study of beautifully shaped buttocks, such as Aphrodites'.

submitted by beelzebub - (www)

fig newton of my homogenation - For me, (being a "cookies-and-milk" kind of girl), saying that something is a "Fig Newton of my homogenation" (ho-mog-in-ation) is just a fun way of saying that something I'm saying or thinking, might JUST be, a "figment of my imagination"!

e.g., When he offered me a cookie and smiled, it looked to me as though he was flirting; but it may just have been a "Fig Newton of my homogenation." Got it?

submitted by Lynn B. Turner - (www)

quotalicize - Verb: To punctuate a title (or emphasize a word/phrase) by both enclosing it in quotation marks and putting it in italics.

e.g., The confused student decided to cover all his bases and quotalicize the story's title in his essay.

submitted by Deborah Giudice - (www)

solanum tuberosum lectuli - (so-LA-num too-br-O-sum LEK-too-lee; n.) 1. The couch potato, considered as a species; 2. a pretentious couch potato; 3. a couch potato who lives for documentaries and other "highbrow" stuff. [From the Latin species name for "potato" and lectuli "couch."]

e.g., "Look at yourself: you sit there all day watching tv .... you're a couch potato!" "I am no couch potato!: at worst, I am a solanum tuberosum lectuli." "What does that mean?" "Well, um ... ... 'couch potato'; it means 'couch potato.'"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

amaize - (v.) To overwhelm with corn, usually by serving or purchasing corn, popcorn, corn tortillas, corn bread, corn cobs, creamed corn, corn flour, corn ... dogs, etc. Also "amaizing," "amaized," "amaizement." [Analogy from "amaze."]

e.g., Sometimes, I wind up with what I call "yellowfood": corn tacos, creamed corn, cornbread, and so on. After six or seven cobs of corn, I get amaized. Truly amaized.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

porn cone - (n.) The unbridled spread of the effects of pornography: lust, infidelity, violence, crime, exploitation, alienation, hatred, and loneliness, viewed graphically as a point exponentially expanding into a wider and wider area like a plague ... well, no: not like a plague: _as_ a plague. Because it is a plague, a fetid, festering, squalid, filthy plague. It's like addicting people to rat poison. [A metathesis of "corn porn," although I have no idea why my brain got here from "corn pone" of all things.]

e.g., A porn cone is an angle

submitted by scott m. ellsworth - (www)

feral peeve - (n.) 1. An undomesticated peeve: A peeve that is not a "pet"; 2. a peeve you're aware of, but aren't particularly peevish about; 3. a potential peeve: something somebody could develop a peeve about, but hasn't. [From feral (Latin for "wild"), the opposite of "pet."]

e.g., "All this posturing really ticks me off." "You're peeved by class arrogance?" "Yeah. Bad." "But you never talk about it." "Well, it's not a pet peeve or anything; it's just a peeve." "Ah, a feral peeve." || "Look at this crappy intersection! Five way and on a slant with two stop signs covered by kudzu." "A feral peeve: cool." "Well, hey, it's worth getting peeved about, don't you think?" "Yeah. You should adopt it. You can make it a pet peeve. Take it to a prize peeve show." "... ... wait: I should write to the paper!: make it everyone's pet peeve!" "Good idea! We can't have feral peeves wandering around, getting into the garbage cans, eating people's gardens." "Be serious."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

blathermaster - (n.) 1. Any one of those gifted with the enviable ability to mix nonsense words into their regular speech such that it sounds almost as though the listeners are ignorant rather than the speaker being unintelligible; 2. Any professional with whose jargon the listener (or reader, I suppose) is unfamiliar; 3. The writer(s) of contracts, statutes, medical reference books, and most instruction manuals.

e.g., "Can you read the glyphs, Professor?" "Let me see ... pawer khom pany, 'light of' Tut Hotep Patra "Pharaoh's (um) wife (uh) sedjemenef 'comes forth in glory' daranti ha chachacha shanaz 'golden age of com ... (uh) the common man' um ... this next part's a bit odd ... aryu Bast beran tu aas 'conqueror of your outposts' ... something ... tri set ujes: mo, khururi jo, shemep, rarri 'the gods of laughter' ... the rest, I'm afraid is illegible." "You can't read Egyptian to save your soul, can you?" "Nope. Not a clue." "Hey, points for your blathermastery, though." ||

Here are the words of a true blathermaster: "Leads meat cardinal fifteen no interest them didn't poster demand he change corey home non here Frank, return with to over the world didn't actually you directorate and that stupid wild billall. Of ninety chain obliged dishes dissent season Italy dissent Jerry dot dead space your midterm election crass credential pig-o-vitz solutions, brought up by helmets by down the ex-girlfriends and ruddy congress mainline really holly plunge-keeping distance above argue the with."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

traveler - Gypsy -- used by Brits. Heard the example as dialog in a British comedy action thriller, Hot Fuzz. A member of a nomadic people originating in northern India and now living on all continents. | A member of any of various traditionally itinerant groups unrelated to the Romani.| One who follows an itinerant or otherwise unconventional career or way of life, especially: a. A part-time or temporary member of a college faculty. b. A member of the chorus line in a theater production.

e.g., "On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival, some travelers moved into Callahan Park."

submitted by HD Fowler

decendent - Descendant. Possibly confused by the spelling of decedent.

e.g., "Why would anyone blame [Ben Affleck] for his ancestors’ [owning slaves]. This country is full of great people, many of whom are decendents of less-than-perfect individuals. If anything it’s an indicator of the growth of humankind." What Ben Affleck should be embarrassed about are his efforts to keep his slave-owning ancestors’ names out of the series. You’re getting what you deserve for your efforts, Ben -- more awareness about your slavery roots than would otherwise have been the case. It’s not what happened in a bygone era that’s your problem, it’s your recent attempt at a cover-up. PS. Whatever anyone may think of Ben Affleck, there's little danger that anyone outside his immediate family will think of him as a great person.

submitted by [Miss Speller] - (www)

timburr - (Pronounced TIM-br; n.) 1. Fear of the cold, especially 2. fear of the cold shoulder; 3. fear of emotionlessness, especially of cold stoicism from one's boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or significant other. (interj.) 4. "Wow! That's cold!" 5. "Aaa! Not cold! I hate cold!" 6. "I am so sorry he's such a halibut: all the passion of a bucket of mud." (From Latin timor "fear" + "burr," as in "I'm cold.")

e.g., "Well, I finally asked her out." "Hey, that's great! ... isn't it? Why the scowl? What did she say?" "She said, 'I see no advantage to spending any time with you socially.'" "Holy crap. Seriously?" "Seriously." "Timburr, dude. I'm sorry." "Thanks, but I feel kinda relieved. I mean, if I'm not looking to settle down with a block of ice. Now, at least, I know who NOT to go out with."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

cannonophile - Someone who loves cannons -- not a spectatular "creation," but it has meaning for me.

e.g., I used this word in a conversation with a cannonophile friend a couple of days ago. Jim was an artillery officer in the US Army for about twenty twenty years, with the typical accompanying hearing loss.

submitted by HD Fowler

brook - A real word, one which has both noun and verb forms. The verb is used much less frequently than the noun. Transitive verb: to stand for | tolerate.

e.g.,

At the linked site, commenter Han brooks no disagreement from anyone who thinks that his near absolute insistence that everyone in the world would be better off on a strict vegan diet than any other goes a tad too far.

To Han, I say, "Stay out of my diet. The choice is mine, not yours. The chances of my adjusting to your preferred diet and coming to like it are slim to none. I'd much rather live three years longer enjoying myself than six years longer being miserable.

"Speaking of being miserable, thank God you're not a regular part of my life. My bet is that you are miserable and you make everyone around you miserable. Unfortunately, you seem destined to live to be a very ripe old age, sticking around for far to many years making tons of folks wish you had kicked the bucket years earlier."

submitted by [brook] - (www)

extent -

A real word, misused for "extant" in the example, a quotation from an interview with author William Peter Blatty.

Blatty is best known for The Exorcist. If memory serves, it was the first movie I saw in which the author's name was included as part of the title of the movie: William Peter Blatty's The Exorcist.

Extant ▸ adjective: still in existence; not extinct or destroyed or lost ("Extant manuscripts")

Extent: ▸ noun: the distance or area or volume over which something extends ("The vast extent of the desert")

Extent: ▸ noun: the point or degree to which something extends ("The extent of the damage")

e.g., "That is precisely what it does. There’s no film extent of me prowling around Stonehenge in the middle of the night wearing a white cloak and carrying a candle, singing 'Moonlight Becomes You.' All of that prologue — all of which, by the way, is totally true — was to get the reader to know, and hopefully to trust, the witness."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

starbucky and starbecky - The male and female customers who frequent coffee houses/cafes, requisite beverages by their sides, absorbed by the portable computers on their laps/ tables, oblivious to the humans around them.

e.g., We had trouble getting a place to sit and talk when we went to Uncommon Grounds because the place was packed with starbuckys and starbeckys.

submitted by jeanine wisniewski - (www)

nunavit - A word used to refer to a situation which the user is no longer interested in participating in or hearing about due to accumulated frustration -- same as "none of it."

e.g., I told him I'm having nunavit when he asked me again for more time to repay the $500 I lent him last year.

submitted by jeanine wisniewski - (www)

neysayer - Naysayer -- "someone with an aggressively negative attitude." I suppose neighsayer could be a naysayer who delights in telling you no to the extent that her negativsm is accompanied by a horse laugh.

e.g., "That isn't to say we don't care, as can be seen by the countless cheritable organizations that these same neysayers donate to year round." {ED. Didn't bother to deal with cheritable.}

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

ass suredly - A verbal indicator that the user of the word is a cultural snob.

e.g., If I'm sitting in a chair in a barber shop, waiting to be next, and you come in and sit down next to me, I want to be polite and friendly. So I say, "Nice day, isn't it?"

And you turn to me and look, coldly for a moment, and then say, "Assuredly." I know that you're looking down your nose at me, and you think your sh** doesn't stink, and I know, "Ass suredly, you're an ass!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

lexi-klept - A kleptomaniac who steals dictionaries. From a William Safire column written in 1987 and published in The New York Times.

e.g.,

LEXI-KLEPTS


IN VICTOR HUGO'S Les Miserables, which is getting a big ride these days, hero Jean Valjean is pursued by the relentless Inspector Javert in effect for stealing a loaf of bread to feed a starving child.

I identify with Javert. That is because this Reuters dispatch has come across my desk: "San Francisco's posh Stanford Court Hotel has never lost a Bible but since it put dictionaries in its 402 rooms last month, 41 have been swiped."

That dream of a dictionary in every hotel room was my big idea. I saw myself as the Johnny Appleseed of linguistics, persuading hotel owners to put dictionaries in rooms everywhere, enabling weary travelers to look up the meanings and spellings of words used in late-night X-rated movies. (Go look up lubricious in the middle of the night with nothing but a Gideon Bible in the room.) And what happens when a high-class hotelier sensitive to the needs of literate guests stocks his rooms with dictionaries? One out of 10 guests turns out to be a lexi-klept. At this rate, all the dictionaries will have been stolen by the end of a year. What a sad commentary on the human condition; it is as if somebody is following me around, pulling up apple-tree seedlings.

The managing director of the Stanford Court, John Cameron, offers this excuse, probably because he doesn't want to knock these thieving guests: "I guess everybody has a Bible at home but a lot of people would like to have a dictionary."

Wrong. People think that if they steal a Bible, the very inappropriateness of the act will cause them to be struck by lightning; but if they lift a dictionary, they assume God won't care. As a result, departing guests leave The Word and grab the words. The Stanford Court management, a bunch of softies, is now putting stickers on the remaining lexicons: "Love is leaving our dictionary here when you leave."

If that namby-pamby stuff doesn't work, try Safire's Curse: If you steal a dictionary, there will come a day when your child will ask you for the meaning of a word, and you'll feel too guilty to look it up in the stolen book and will misinform him, and he'll be on a quiz show with a chance of winning Vanna White as a prize and will repeat your mistake and will then sue you for parental malpractice and pick you clean.

Patronize hotels with dictionaries. Use the dictionary as needed (lubricious: slippery, or wanton; see lecherous). Then leave the dictionary in the room.


submitted by [William Safire] - (www)

infracaninophile - A real word, though seldom or rarely used. Encyclopedia.co.uk says the word was coined by Christopher Morley in 1930. Originally defined as "a defender or champion of the underdog," all definitions I have found mean essentially that. Infracaninophile has no synonyms, but words with broader meanings in a similar vein include champion, fighter, hero, and paladin. It probably wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that an infracaninophile is someone who stands up for the downtrodden. Given that the word has so little currency, I feel comfortable extending its definition to include that. After all, that's essentially the main reason the pseudodictionary even exists.

Collins English Dictionary: "a person who loves an underdog" | Definition.com: "someone who fights for the underdog." | Dictionary.com: "a supporter or champion of an underdog" | Grandiloquent Dictionary: "one who supports or defends the underdog" | Luciferous Logolepsy: "champion of the underdog" | Merriam-Webster Online: "underdog lover." | Wordinfo.info: "a defender, supporter, or champion of the underdog." | Worthless Word For The Day: "a person who champions or favors the underdog."

Wikipedia gives an elaboration for the term underdog: "An 'underdog' is a person or group in a competition, usually in sports and creative works, who is popularly expected to lose.top dog. In the case where an underdog wins, the outcome is an upset. An 'underdog bet' is a bet on the underdog or outsider for which the odds are generally higher.[2]" Betting on an underdog without getting better odds is seldom a wise thing to do -- don't let your emotions for your favorite player or team override your good sense.

e.g., I'm almost always an infracaninophile when it comes to competitions; however, I was hoping Kentucky would win the NCAA Championship this year and set a new standard with a 40-0 winning season. Alas, that wasn't to be. | It's not at all unusual for infracaninophiles to be incurable.

submitted by [infracaninophile] - (www)

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submitted by

crimea river - The state of aurally disassociating written song lyrics by substituting words and phrases that are similar.

e.g., Jill: "No, you're wrong. 'Sadly the cross-eyed bear' is not a children's nursery tune. It's really a religious song, "Galdly the cross I'd bear.'" Bill: "Okay, big deal! So Crimea river!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

just assume - (adverbial) Solecism for "just as soon," as in, for example, "I would just as soon wait for rescue as try to walk out on our own." Solecistically rendered "I would just assume wait for rescue ...." Linguistically fascinating, but annoying as hell to come across. It's like reading along happilym minding your own businessm and then suddenly being belted across the face by a wet board. (Hey, I'm a descriptivist to my toenails, but "just assume as" isn't anywhere near being common. And if you bother to read it, it makes no sense at all. It's as bad as "should of." What are they teaching people in schools these days?)

e.g., From Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters [New Yrok: Disney Hyperion Books, 2006, p.270]: "Grover told me he could dissolve the empathy link between us, now that we were face to face, but I told him I'd just assume keep it if that was okay with him." Normally, I would write directly to the author to point something like this out, but I couldn't find an email address, and I have no way to send a letter, so I had to out him on the Net. Sorry. For what it's worth, I enjoy Riordan's work very much.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

vacuumous - (adj.) 1. Possessing or characterized by tremendous suction; 2. of or pertaining to a vacuum, particularly to the suction created by such a vacuum, especially very strong suction; 3. pertaining to or describing the titanic gravity of a black hole (or other gravity-heavy celestial object); 4. of or pertaining to the huge, empty voids between galactic filaments and superclusters, as though vacuumed totally empty.

e.g., Wow, this house's centralized vacuum is really ... vacuumous: it nearly sucked a hole through my hand! | If this Wallungunder (q.v.) black hole of yours is so huge, why isn't it more vacuumous? | You know, from our perspective, most of the universe is vacuumously empty.

submitted by scott m. ellsworth - (www)

infraphysical - The word infraphysical acts as an antonym to the word superphysical, and so describes all that is below physicality.

e.g., Infraphysical worlds litter our lives. Imagine walking, but in between steps unknowingly experiencing whole realities lost in time or space.

submitted by Sam Doble - (www)

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submitted by

dooter tube - The stiff gray tube left over after all the paper towels have been used which some people can't resist talking or singing into like a megaphone.

e.g., I played the Cavalry Charge with the dooter tube.

submitted by John S. Duckering - (www)

hellthy - Hellthy (pronounced "hell thee") is the true mental and emotional status of the over-zealous health nut.

e.g., "Yes, I know -- you've told me many times before. You wake up at 5:30 a.m. and go for a five mile run. Then you do 300 push ups and work out at the gym. For breakfast every day, you have a green protein shake and 23 vitamins and supplements.

"Lunch is a leafy salad, plus an 8 ounce glass of water. You abstain from alcohol, caffeine and sodas of all kinds. Dinner is restricted to 500 calories, consisting of a 4 ounce portion of lean fish or chicken and steamed vegetables.

"You go for a shorter run in the early evening, and you're in bed, every night, by 10:00 p.m. Your body is in fantastic condition, but you act like a nervous wreck.

"I can tell you why, buddy. You may think you're 'healthy', but, in truth, mentally, you're 'HELLTHY!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

nbc-nile - nbc-nile - (adj.) Of or pertaining to a blunder so enormous, so redolent with myopic stupidity, so mind-numbingly witless that it reminds one of NBC's ... injudicious cancellation, back in 1968, of Star Trek, perhaps the most lucrative franchise in television history.

e.g., "He did what?" "He said it was too expensive to pay for gas, so he sold it for a thousand bucks." "He sold a nearly mint-condition 1930 Bentley Coupe for a measly thousand?!! Is he insane?! That car was worth hundreds of thousands!! What was he thinking?!!" "Pretty NBC-nile, huh?" "With fries! ... why didn't he sell it to me?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

gold mine of crazy - Someone who continually makes absurd statements -- especially statements "redolent with myopic stupidity and mind-numbingly witless."

e.g., "My God, you're like a gold mine of crazy."

submitted by [TrailrParkSupervisor] | Scott M. Ellswo - (www)

dehab - (Short for "dehabilitate"; n.) 1. The process of causing someone to lose or forget a certain behavior, or a given pattern, skill set, or approach to a task or type of activity; (v.) 2. to unteach or cause someone to unlearn a certain behavior, etc.

e.g., I know a guy who could run like the wind in high school, but his college coach said he didn't run "correctly" and, in trying to force him to run differently, essentially dehabbed him right out of being able to run fast at all. | "Time was when my first response to frustration was to fly into a rage, but I'm dehabbing myself." "Really? How?" "Well, whenever I feel myself getting angry I have to stop and write out all of the Japanese katakana." "Wow. How's it going?" "Pretty well, actually, at least it will be when I stop flying off the handle because I can't remember them and have to look the damn things up on the Internet and don't have a pen handy ... AAARrrgh! ... You don't happen to have a pen, do you?"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

rehabitat - (v.) 1. Accustoming oneself to new surroundings, as after moving to a new home, a new office, or a new work area.

e.g., I kept leaving the law school parking lot and turning right to my old house instead of left to the freeway and my new one. It took weeks to rehabitat myself. | Rehabitating to the much larger studio wasn't precisely difficult, but it was a bit unnerving to suddenly have so much more space to work in.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

rehabit - (v.) 1. Breaking and/or replacing a habit with a different habit; (n.) 2. the act or process of rehabiting; (adj.) Rehabitual, 3. of or pertaining to rehabiting or the rehabit process.

e.g., "Where's George? I haven't seen him here at the pub in weeks." "Oh, he's in rehabit." "What? Why?" "He says he was spending too much on his pints, so he's retraining himself to walk home the other way."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

capitol punishment - Being sentenced and compelled to fulfill your community service at the Capitol.

e.g., The judge sentenced me to 1000 hours of capitol punishment.

submitted by Miss Speller

assanova - A would-be seducer of numerous women who succeeds only in making an ass of himself with his efforts.

e.g., "You seem well read, Vadim. What are some pickup- or non-pickup-related books you can recommend for aspiring Assanovas?" "I suggest you check into some of the tips found by surfing to the linked site."

submitted by [dk1123] - (www)

siuloidi - (Rhymes with shoe-SEED-uh or shoe-luh-EED-uh (or shoe-LLOYD-ee, if you don't care); pl.n.) 1. Any statement about oneself made to secure the interest of potential dates; 2. Any such statement uttered in a get-to-know-you context of any sort. [Literally, "walks" in Irish Gaelic, short for siúlóidí fada ar an trá, which means "long walks on the beach," the stereotypical compatibility statement for dating resumes or videos or whatever.]

e.g., "Hi. I'm [name]. I like candlelight dinners, romantic music, horses, and long walks on the beach." "Wow, what a siuloidi."

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

minute-and-hour - Verb: to waste time (another person's or one's own) in short durations that add up to a long-term loss; the temporal equivalent to nickel-and-dime.

e.g., I used to have a job where I was frequently called in for overtime when they needed extra help. I quit because it minute-and-houred all my spare time away!

submitted by Dr. Dan Muldoon - (www)

deflook - Past tense of deflake, as in deflaking a flaky test in computer science.

e.g., I finally deflook that test; now it quits failing every other time anyone runs it.

submitted by Tommy - (www)

earthquack - It's my opinion that fracking is a very dangerous practice. More and more we hear events of small earthquakes in areas of heavy fracking, so an earthquack would be an earthquake brought on by fracking. | Someone who thinks, without any proof -- statistical or otherwise -- that fracking alone can increase the incidence of earthquakes in a given region.

e.g., "Who knows -- maybe all that gas holds up mass amounts of land, which, when quickly extracted, causes earthquacks to occur?" "Yes, indeed, who knows?" | "Who's the world's best-known earthquack?" "Gee, I dunno. Perhaps Al Gore?"

submitted by Danny Kostyshin - (www)

dido - Ditto.

e.g., Just imagine if this con man had actually been president. That’s what I call dodging a bullet (dido when Kerry lost).

submitted by Just-Sayin’ - (www)

bioverse - All life within the universe, to include known and potential life in the universe. Expansion of the bbiosphere concept. Related to astrobiology.

e.g., The Earth has life, and Titan may have potential life in the bioverse.

submitted by Jonathan Riddle - (www)

hoootling - The act, when something strikes you as absurdly funny, of unrestrained laughter, that you can't stop. And when you do stop, you start again.

e.g., You know those times, when something funny "strikes" you, and you can't stop laughing ... it's so ridiculously stupid ... you're laughing so hard that tears are pouring out of your eyes ... you're gasping for breath ... your face is turning purple, and you're still laughing ... until you're choking ... you have to stop laughing to take in some air ... then, you can't help it, it grabs you, laughter restarts? That's "hoootling!"

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

youse - Plural of "you."

e.g., Youse have louses; see youse later.

submitted by george l. kelly

tooken - Taken. {Duplicate.}

e.g., I've tooken my baby boy in for charity care.

submitted by george l. kelly

hormy - Emotionally hormonal.

e.g., She was so hormy during her period. Stop being so hormy.

submitted by Denver - (www)

asdfghjkling - The feeling you feel, when you cannot even type a coherent thought.

e.g., Oh, my God, I'm asdfghjkling right now.

submitted by Randomfrench - (www)

gedankenexperiment - A real word: "an experiment carried out in thought only."

e.g., "Albert Einstein ... applied gedankenexperiment to his work conceptualizing the theory of relativity."

submitted by [Gedankenexperimenter]

lid - (n.) (in addition to its usual meaning, "the cover, top, etc., of a container of any kind," and the other meanings it has acquired, "stopper, bung" ('put a lid on it'), "hat, cap, cover" ('someone left his lid on the chair'), and (oddly) "a completed agenda" ('that's a full lid'), I add these: 1. The container, package, case, envelope, or box in which something is kept, especially CDs and DVDs; 2. The door, hatch, awning, canopy, or other covering beneath or behind which something is kept; also (v.) 3. To put something away, return it to its container.

e.g., 1. Someone left out six DVDs! Do you all think I'm made of money? Where are the lids to these movies?! 2. So we're waiting to take off, and this guy is packing the overhead compartment with a carry-on the size of a small hippo, but somehow he finally managed to close the lid. 3. Leave your lawn mowing and help me lid this trash.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

one - Won. It happens more often than you'd think.

e.g., "Arguably the best athlete to ever play a sport, Jim Thorpe was more than just a great football player -- with the Thorpe Award going to the defensive back of the year -- but he also one a gold medal in both the pentathlon and decathlon in the 1912 Summer Olympics."

submitted by Miss Speller - (www)

absturniate - (v) To use one's imagination to one's fullest capacity. (n)One who uses it's imagination to it's fullest capacity.

e.g., Writers like Dr. Seuss need absturniate. | The absturniate could imagine a whole world.

submitted by Mason Oeftger - (www)

selfsie - Any selfie that contains more than one person.

e.g., I am tired of just taking my own picture. I'm gonna get some friends and take some selfsies.

submitted by Tim R

beckel, to - "What’s the one thing you never want old men talking about? Anything remotely related to the naughty bits. Well, you can thank Fox News’ Bob Beckel for just… I don’t even know how to explain it other than just a classic Beckel. (Sidenote: I don’t know if this is a thing at Fox already, but 'Beckel' really should be a term people use at the network when describing cringeworthy/hilariously wince-inducing moments.) "The Five talked about the weird new Joe Boxer Christmas ad from Kmart, and Brian Kilmeade admitted to being a boxer man. Eric Bolling tried to move on, but Kimberly Guilfoyle and Dana Perino teased Beckel about his undergarment of choice. "Beckel’s answer? 'Nothing.' "Needless to say, this drove everyone on-set into madness, and Guilfoyle VERY SLOWLY MOVED AWAY from her commando-going compatriot."

e.g., He's gotten so bad about beckeling, Julie won't even go anywhere with him, not anymore.

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

nine acity - Tenacity, modified by a weaker degree of commitment.

e.g., Beth: Gordon says that he's really going to give up smoking. Seth: Again? What's this, his fifth or sixth attempt? Beth: He says he's completely serious. He's seeing a doctor, taking medications, working with a smoke cessation counselor, partnering up with a friend who also wants to quit. Seth: Well, good for him. Maybe with all that help and knowing Gordon's character, his nine acity will do it this time.

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

-

submitted by

phase - Faze. Comment is about the recently released film _Fifty Shades of Grey_ -- which set all-time box office records, grossing close to $250 million its first few days after being released. The split was roughly 35% domestic (US) and 65% elsewhere.

e.g., "Not that the S&M bothered the singer: 'I edited porn for a while, so nothing phases me,' she said. 'It's hard for me to get turned on. Like, a lot of my friends were so turned on by the book. It's hard for me to get super turned on unless I'm invested in the character. I'm into really deep character pieces. It wasn't really my style of book, but as I read it, I was very entertained. It surprised me. I ended up getting a little turned on. I'm excited to see the movie; I want to see what the actors did with the actual characters and see how far they took it.'"

submitted by Miss Speller

howdy dude-e - A politician who is always friendliness personified. Dressed impeccably, he or she smiles continually, is happy to see you and eager to serve, "glad hands" every person in every crowd -- yet, invariably, is one of the most corrupt, self-serving, cynical and mean individuals you'll ever meet.

e.g., Is this an election year? Get ready, folks -- it's Howdy Dude-e time!

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

alien noise - (n.) The oscillating hooty sort of whistle someone thought up back in the 1950s as the proper sound effect for the operation of almost every device of non-terrestrial origin. It is now a fairly common sound made by science-fiction gadgets of various kinds.

e.g., Sometimes I remember watching Lost in Space as a boy. The show's producers used the alien noise for radar scans, computers, electronic beacons, teleporters, even weapons. When used for weapons or transporters, the target thing would suddenly vanish with a loud "BEEP"; it was just this side of absurd. | I remember humming the alien noise to wake up my kids for school. It was silly and fun and helped them to wake up laughing instead of sullen---they liked getting up for school no more than I did as a kid. Now if only the alien noise could make the school more fun or something.

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

rhythmatraumatic - A beat so intense and fantastic it changes who you are.

e.g., That John Bonham's rhythmatraumatic pounding has adjusted my thinking on a deep level.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

churchified - Southern urbonics for the range of emotions and actions brought about by going to (especially a Baptist) church. The list includes but, is not limited to, hoity toityness, smellin' yoself, buying new hats, excessive fanning of oneself, holier-than-thou-artedness, excessive admiration for suave and clever orators, gossip regarding others attending the service, and willingness to be fed any line of crap and believe it enough for the sake of being too lazy to investigate the truth of things.

e.g., I get tickled every time the churchified Mrs. Jeffries condescends to me all the way down to the end of her nose with such a well-founded sense of being righteous overmuch.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

mira lago - From a neighborhood in Parkland, Florida, that floods like the lost city of Atlantis when it drizzles for more than thirty seconds: Any area that has a tendency of becoming completely submerged during the most minor of precipitation.

e.g., Wow, one two-minute cloudburst and the parking lot became a total Mira Lago.

submitted by Park Landprobs

overridable - A value or an act is overridable when it can be overridden by a higher authority.

e.g., The public's interest in information is overridable whenever it conflicts with any individual right or with any greater general interest. | Seeing autonomy as an overridable value will not be forceful enough to support liberal neutrality. | Statements of defeasible commitment would apparently be immune to factual detachment: they would be overridable, and they would be non-augmentable.

submitted by Christopher Yeleighton - (www)

heck, you! menical - An extremist politician's negative attitude, applied religiously, toward any sort of compromise with members of an opposing party.

I filled in my e-mail address because I want to be notified when my submittal is added.

e.g., In the past, diametrically opposed factions were able to achieve political progress through cooperation and compromise. Today, however, political factions such as the Tea Party's heck, you! menical approach stifles all debate and ends in destructive deadlock.

submitted by Charlie Lesko - (www)

literally - Figuratively.

e.g., I was really craving chocolate yesterday. I ended up literally eating a ton of M&Ms.

submitted by HD Fowler

shmouse - A flattened or smashed mouse.

e.g., My sweet daughter cried when sheet found a shmouse under the sheet of plywood.

submitted by Mark Thistle - (www)

shmice - A group of two or more smashed or flattened mice.

e.g., Sadly we found a shmice while inspecting our newly paved street.

submitted by Mark Thistle - (www)

reaganomics - Anything in the realm of half-witted, sure-to-fail untested schemes or unsubstantiated and ridiculous claims ... or such as even remotely resembles these.

e.g., "So, Chris,.. what kind of astrological Reaganomics do you have for me this time?"

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

goober-tool - Any tool left behind after a completed job, lost off the back of the work truck, or dropped and forgotten in any way.

e.g.,

Just found me a fine goober-tool of a tubing cutter this morning. Prolly a hunnit dolla tool.

{ED. It's a fun word. Thanks, Steve, for the reminder.

Click to check Google Ngram Viewer to see other ways the word goober has been used.

Taking the time to check out some of the uses led me to some words books that I may just have to add to my library, as dead trees:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic}

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

munge - To munge an e-mail address is to break it up in such a way as to make it difficult for it to be picked up and used for junk mail. | "E-mail address munging is the act of using ASCII, JavaScript, and scrambling of letters in your e-mail address in order to hide your e-mail address from spam bots, spiders, and spoofers. E-mail address munging is also called e-mail address obfuscating" | To moan or grumble at. In the worst cases, lambasting.

e.g., I also noticed that my e-mail address been scraped from the about page and is being used by spammers. I'll have to munge it better to keep that from happening. | She had a right old munge at me when I broke the vase.

submitted by HD Fowler | Tuj

domicile theft - I am receiving "offers" for "pre-approved" credit cards, etc. that has my correct domicile address but is being sent to some unknown person. This person has never lived at my address, according to my landlord, but goggling my address shows this person as living there. Goggling his name results in the same. Goggling MY name correctly shows me as living at my address. I've decided to call what's happening domicile theft. | The fact that Saddam Hussein does not now nor has ever lived at my address combined with my receiving mail under his name at my address is domicile theft.

e.g., As far as know, domicile theft is not a crime. {ED. Interestinly enough, just yesterday -- before I saw this submittal -- I opened a web-based email address: identity.thief@isp.net.}

submitted by Jimmy Roy - (www)

invulgarating - An action which or a person who makes you want to actually become vulgar or to use vulgar language.

e.g., I found Judy's attitude and behavior at the cast party to be quite invulgarating.

submitted by Mark Thistle - (www)

dissible - (DISS-ih-bul; adj.) 1. Able or worthy to be dissed; 2. Unworthy of compliment or praise. Also "dissibility": absence of worth, lack of respectability. [From "diss" plus "-ible."]

e.g., "Man! That guy is such a---" "Such a what?" "I don't know, but he's completely dissible!"

submitted by Scott M. Ellsworth - (www)

forcastrophe - A badly blown weather forecast, usually involving the loss of millions of dollars and inconvenience to millions of people.

e.g., The "Blizzard" of 1/26/15 turned out to be a forecastrophe.

submitted by Chris Moran - (www)

retrobarf - To vomit upon seeing what was in fashion when your parents were the age you are now become fashionable again: clothing; furniture; shaved armpits, eyebrows, and legs; etc.

e.g., Oh, look, brass bathroom fixtures are the next big thing. Excuse me, I need to retrobarf.

submitted by TechnoSpaz - (www)

forecastocalypse - An incorrect forecast involving an event or outcome that involves many people and businesses changing their schedules and plans. Usually involving the loss of tens of millions of dollars to businesses. Most frequently used to describe a blown weather forecast.

e.g., The "historic" blizzard of January 26th, 2015, turned out to be a forecastocalypse, rather than an actual weather event of significance.

submitted by Chris Moran - (www)

peever - Not original. Someone who has pet peeves and makes no bones about expressing them.

e.g., Weaver is a peever -- and he definitely knows it. May even take pride in being one. He said recently, regarding his son and daughter, "It's not as if Dina and Scott don't know I'm cranky."

submitted by HD Fowler

boston marriage - Wikipedia: "'Boston marriage' as a term is said to have been in use in New England in the decades spanning the late 19th and early 20th centuries to describe two women living together, independent of financial support from a man."

e.g., She said before her husband died that she'd never get married again. Do you think she's a candidate for a Boston marriage? | Her daughter lives with another woman, but I doubt that it's a Boston marriage.

submitted by s

herbivore - Young men who show little or no interest in sex. | Wikipedia: "Herbivore men or grasseaters are a social phenomenon in Japan of men who shun marriage or gaining a girlfriend. They are characteristically described as frugal, and interested in personal grooming. Under this categorisation scheme, men and women are either herbivore type or carnivore type. As of September 2010, 36% of Japanese men between the ages of 16 and 19 perceived themselves in this way. Additionally, two surveys of single men in their 20s and 30s found that 61% and 70%, respectively, considered themselves grass-eating men. This phenomenon is viewed by the Japanese government as a leading cause in the nation's declining birth rate, prompting the government to provide incentives for couples that have children, including payouts and free health care."

e.g., Another worrying statistic was the increasing number of young men with little or no interest in sex, a group known as "herbivores" in Japan. | "If you're waiting for him to make the first move, Shirley, you're wasting your time. He's a herbivore." "A vegetarian?" "No, but he's not exactly a meat-eater. ... Well, it's not so much what he eats, it's that he doesn't go hunting."

submitted by [Herb I. Vore] - (www)

is when - Occurs when. "Is when" often appears in submittals, either in the description or example. Given that I'm a prescriptivist fuddy duddy who thinks we're generally going to hell in a handbasket -- even worse in that regard than HillsDale -- I make an effort to change all such occurrences in submittals to something else. That may seem like a strange thing to do for a site that exists primarily as a way to publicize folks' made-up words and phrases, but our interest in change is largely limited to new words, not new "rules" of grammar -- or throwing away useful old "rules."

  
  

e.g., "Clicktivism is when political or social activists use online communication, largely social media such as Twitter, Facebook etc, to galvanize protests."

submitted by Lillith - (www)

likebait - Also like-bait or like bait: "web content which is specifically intended to make Facebook users click the 'Like' button associated with it." Definition and examples from the link at MacMillan Dictionary.

e.g., "Survey respondents also claim they look to social networks and message boards to seek product recommendations. Thus, blog posts should act as Likebait to spark word-of-mouth referrals." Brafton 17th January 2011 | "Facebook cracks down on 'Like-baiting' … Pages that explicitly ask News Feed readers to 'Like' their posts will be demoted in Facebook's ranking.'" Telegraph UK 11th April 2014 | "The phenomenon of likebaiting is now so commonplace that Facebook started to clamp down on it in 2014, automatically detecting posts that explicitly invited responses and ensuring that these were not shown more prominently than other, more relevant content from sources that users were genuinely interested in."

submitted by HD Fowler - (www)

circumambagious - "Circumambagious, a. -– Employing a roundabout or indirect manner of speech. Not as effective, perhaps, on the whole, as an aid to obfuscation, as the sesquipedalianism fostered by this book, always assuming, if you will forgive a somewhat Jamesian digression (Henry, that is to say, in contradistinction to P.D.), that obfuscation is in fact the objective, and having in mind also that, setting aside the relative merits of the two different approaches toward that end, vis-a-vis each other, it can hardly be doubted that the employment of both together, as distinct from one or the other, must have a still greater obfuscatory, or perhaps more precisely, obscurantist, impact, a point well evidenced by the fact that this particular instance of circumambagiousness has, as I believe you will discover, successfully diverted your attention from the fact that nowhere in this admittedly now somewhat overlong sentence is there, despite its superabundance of subsidiary clauses, a principal subject or verb."

e.g., While it comes naturally to some, writing circumambagiously can be extremely difficult for others.

submitted by [Peter John Bowler]

datanosis - Hypnosis caused by overexposure to data, usually via the Internet or digital delivery.

e.g., Bob had to be physically shaken by his coworkers when they noticed he'd been staring slack-jawed at his computer screen for over two hours, a victim of datanosis.

submitted by Mark Lee - (www)

ignoranti - The exact opposite of "illuminati." The ignoranti are an unorganized cadre of uneducated, uninformed or ill-informed, magical-thinking, irrationalists who have a belief system that depicts the real physical world or cosmos however they wish or have been taught by their peers, family, or culture -- that is to say, most of the general religious public.

e.g., On the subject of evolution, the ignoranti have extreme difficulty accepting the fact that humans and the other primates such as chimpanzees, gorillas, baboons, and orangutans had the same distant ancestor despite the overwhelming fossil and DNA evidence.

submitted by John S. Duckering - (www)

fabrication - Collective noun: a fabrication of journalists.

e.g., Seeing articles following up on tonight's State of the Union Address by POTUS reminded me how the collective term fabrication of journalists came into being. | The fabrication was a joint effort by a fabrication of journalists.

submitted by HD Fowler

extrance - The door you go thru to get where you were before you went thru it. | The opposite of entrance. A place to exit.

e.g., I really did like using the extrances in the original Zelda game. you could go to the right or left or up or down for all eternity and never leave where you were. | I'll meet you at the extrance in the back.

submitted by steve zihlavsky | Daphne - (www)

askhole - A reporter who goes out of her way to ask impertinent, insulting, and out-of-line questions at press conferences.

e.g., If quotas for askholes were set for press conferences, I'd be more likely to watch them.

submitted by HD Fowler

unequivicable - Unequivocal: "admitting of no doubt or misunderstanding; having only one meaning or interpretation and leading to only one conclusion."

e.g., The evidence was unequivicable -- there was absolutely no doubt that she was guilty of armed robbery. How she was found not guilty is beyond my ken.

submitted by Miss Speller

cahonies - Cojones -- balls, guts, fortitude.

e.g., I see many of those in the anti-cop demonstrations as being people who lack the cahonies to be a police officer.

submitted by Miss Speller

rummy’s dummies - "A derogatory name for the U.S. military under the leadership of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld." In the class of jokes such as Groucho Marx's saying "Military intelligence is an oxymoron."

e.g., Morons who use terms such as "Rummy's Dummies" are a pain in the ass. My guess is that most of them are about 30 IQ points short of the IQ of the military men and women they disrespect.

submitted by Rummy’s Dummies

myoclonic jerk - No, it has nothing to do with jerks of the social kind. "A myoclonic jerk is the brief, involuntary twitching of a muscle or group of muscles. It may be caused either by a sudden muscle contraction, or a sudden lapse of contraction. This happens when a person is on the verge of falling asleep, and suddenly [has] a sensation or feeling that [she is] free falling through the air." {ED. Edited to follow Fowler Style and get rid of multiple inconsistencies of number agreement.}

e.g., It doesn't happen nearly as often as it did when I was a child, but I'm still awakened once in a while by a myoclonic jerk.

submitted by [atypical jerk] - (www)

paraprasdokian - From alphadictionary.com, which is not far removed from the ne plus ultra of words websites. "What are Paraprosdokians? "Paraprosdokian is not an Armenian writer or football coach but a figure of speech characterized by an abrupt change of direction at the end. It is a phrase that intentionally leads us down the garden path, that misleads us into thinking one way, then suddenly end[s] on an unexpected twist. Stand-up comedians who like one-liners use lots of them, because the setup and punchline are all in a single line." Let me know if you ever run across an Armenian whose name doesn't end in -ian -- or someone whose name ends in -ian but isn't an Armenian. My experience is limited, but the latter seem to be as scarce as hen's teeth.

e.g., "Paraprasdokians are sentences that change course midstream for immensely humorous effect. Enjoy this peculiar type of humor in sentences that lead us down the garden path." |

submitted by [pseudo-paraprasdoker] - (www)

photobomb - "Collins has selected [as its word of the year] photobomb from words submitted by visitors to its website, a word which it says means 'to intrude into the background of a photograph without the subject’s knowledge.' Again, this isn't the whole story, as it usually either means the accidental incursion of some odd or embarrassing thing in the background that spoils a picture or of a person who deliberately intrudes as a practical joke. Like overshare, it isn’t new — it’s recorded from 2007 and had a spike of popularity in 2011/2012 — but it has become much better known this year because of several widely reproduced photos, such as Benedict Cumberbatch’s photobombing of U2 at the Oscars and, most famously, the accidental photobombing of a couple of Australian athletes by the Queen at the Commonwealth Games."

e.g., The last thing you're going to find me doing is deliberately photobombing ... anyone.

submitted by [photobomber]

overshare - Chosen as word of the year for 2014 by the Chambers Dictionary folks. "Chambers has gone for overshare, which it defines as 'to be unacceptably forthcoming with information about one’s personal life,' commenting that it was 'beautifully British' and a 'subtle yet devastating' put-down. That's not a complete definition, as it can also mean inappropriately supplying detailed personal information to a stranger online; it has also been used for deliberately giving intimate details of a relationship in order to shame one’s former partner. It's neither British nor new, as it was first recorded as teen slang in the US in the 1990s and appeared in print in The New York Times as early as 1998. Apart from that, it’s quite a good choice." | Giving out more information than necessary -- sharing an experience to the point of embarrassing or disgusting the listener.

e.g., It's one thing to overshare with an anonymous stranger on a bus (plane, train, automobile), quite another to overshare with potentially hundreds, thousand, or millions online. | "So that's when my mom told me about her first sexual experience." "Whoa, Bob. Stop right there -- overshare."

submitted by [oversharer] | kokogiak

transmogrification - A real word, a useful word. Transmogrification: "the act of changing into a different form or appearance (especially a fantastic or grotesque one) ('The transmogrification of the prince into a porcupine')."

e.g., When presidential candidate obama said he wanted to transform America, a few of US sensed that what he had in mind was not a transformation but a transmogrification. Very, very few of US thought he would have the effrontery to do so in the way he's doing it -- with virtually no input from Congress. | A grass roots movement is underway to start referring to the changes obama is making by executive fiat as "a fundamental transmogrification of America" rather than "a fundamental transformation."

submitted by [Transmogriffrier]

influkes - Influx.

e.g., I wonder if she will march in protest for the jobs the Black people lose to the in flukes of Mexican migration..!

submitted by Miss Speller

ineptendent - What a politician unaligned with any political party tends to be. Especially appropriate with the two alleged independents currently in the US Senate. The example was found in a comment thread, correcting a commenter who said seven Democrats in the Senate would have to join the Republicans in order to convict the President on an impeachment advanced by the House of Representatives.

e.g., "The count of Dims and ineptendents caucusing with Dims in the Senate stands at forty-six. A minimum of thirteen of them would have to join Republicans to convict obama after the House voted to impeach. A two-thirds majority of the Senate is required to convict and remove a President from office. Say, all fifty-four Republicans in the Senate along with thirteen or more crossovers."

submitted by [Mr. Independent]

paragraphaphobia - Fear of breaking up comments into paragraphs -- with the result that hundreds and hundreds get strung together with no break.

e.g., You seem to suffer from that rare illness known as paragraphaphobia.

submitted by [Mr. Anit-paragraphobe]

pseubmit - To add an entry to the PseudoDictionary input queue.

e.g., Those one-hundred-thirty-nine words must be the longest single sentence yet pseubmitted to the pseudodictionary.

submitted by s - (www)

subatomically correct - More than an anatomically correct body. Perfect down to the last muon.

e.g., That girl o' mine is subatomically correct.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

the crawl - What some describe as spiders in their heads (usually while the world around them sleeps). An affliction often associated with chronic insomnia and symptomatic as follows: insomnia, easily distracted, fidgitry, nonsensical talk, self-absorption, spells of introspect, difficulty communicating with others, and a plethora of others. (Please if you suffer from this incurable panacea, list any symptoms you benefit from here, so a complete compendium can be compiled.)

e.g., The crawl often subsides with me around 3-4 am.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

mumbus jumpback - Any spoken nonsense which causes at least a major facial expression change (usually one of question or disgust) and, often, a reply or retort.

e.g., I had to leave the room after listening to that mumbus jumpback, primarily to keep my own integrity.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

scrooching - The laying-back of the driver seat so far while driving that all that is visible from said position is the sky, tall buildings, distant landscapes, and things taller than your vehicle within two feet of it.

e.g., Scrooching, I think, is every bit as safe as texting, birthing a child, star-gazing, or computer programming while driving.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

exhaustation - After you've been exhausted numerous times and repeatedly pulled up your bootstraps and got back after it. Tireditis (which see) is a common symptom leading up to it, while collapse is the final step if rest is not sought.

e.g., Four months in of seven-days-a-week and my exhaustation is bordering on collapse.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

tireditis - Something like exhaustation, just not as extreme.

e.g., If I don't get some rest soon, this tireditis will soon become exhaustation.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

ominator/ominatrix - One who hovers ominously over others.

e.g., So, I was just painting her walls white: no mural, no fascinating faux finish. I wasn't marbleizing, it wasn't tromp l'oeil. All the while that ominatrix stood in the doorway watching, as if I may miss a spot or a drop may get on her white carpet or in some way she just might not get what she thought she was paying for.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

reversilate - The act of throwing any vehicle in reverse and doing whatever backing-up maneuvers are involved before putting it back in forward motion.

e.g., I have an affinity toward those who reversilate thru the drive-thru.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

hypocracy - Political regime based on systematic lies and propaganda. Hypocrisy is a moral quality, while hypocracy is a political system. |

Government by hypocrites, especially a government run by leftistist elitists. (To accommodate a common misspelling of "hypocrisy.") | The ultimate form of government.

Here's an example of misuse: Dukehoopsfan: "The hypocracy of the left knows no bounds. These limousine liberals want to run our lives while they live in their double standard universe."

e.g., Nazi Germany and communist Russia are historical examples of powerful hypocracies. | (From an example later on in the input queue -- Mr. Epstein and one not-so-humble editor apparently having come close to synchronizing on this common misspelling for "hyprocisy.") "Can any one citizen get over the hypocracy of this President putting illegals before his own country's citizens?"

Nothing unusual as far as I'm concerned. Hypocracy is more or less the standard form of government at local, county, state, and federal levels. || Once the EU Constitution is passed, will Europe be well on its way to a Federal European States and the world's first official hypocracy? | How long will it be before the hypocracy of a world government is formed?

submitted by Mikhail Epstein | Miss Speller - (www)

dingleblossom - A flower which produces dingleberries.

e.g., You must have quite a few dingleblossoms in your pants -- I can smell the fruit.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

molottabetta - Improved in general in any way, esp. applies to substantial improvements.

e.g., "OOOOOOOOoooooohhh, HONEY! Them new biscuits is molottabetta!

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

retinal fleckage - Any ailment suffered by a variety of tradesmen wherein one thing or another in their line of work damages (at least temporarily) the orb(s).

e.g., I was spraying some fine lacquer the other day and got that numb feeling in my frontal lobe because I should have been wearing a mask as, all of a sudden, I came to the inside corner of a cabinet while my mind was in another world and the delightfully sweet fumes coursed right back into my face from the back of said cabinet in a forceful back-spray with, at first the startling shock of retinal fleckage to my peepers while, surprised at the pain, I deeply inhaled the dense vapors and commenced to konk my noggin on the shelf above as I threw myself out of the blast zone staggering backward, almost losing my balance, while secondarily my skull got to feeling interplanetary from the deep alveolic absorption -- so, I had to leave the premises for a duration. {ED. Those one-hundred-thirty-nine words must be the longest single sentence yet pseubmitted to the pseudodictionary. Thanks for making my day oncet again, Steve Zihlavsky.}

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

mirropposed - To offend oneself by gazing in the looking glass and being disgusted by what's seen.

e.g., Actions are seldom taken by those suffering from mirropposition, usually disgustation and acceptance of the situation are the opted for plan.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

nutrituration - Oversaturated nutritiously -- i.e. nutrition poisoning.

e.g., Davy Dave! If you don't put down that cucumber and wheat germ on pumpernickel and go back to some cheezy poofs and snacky cakes, you're sure to get yourself a heckuva bad case of nutrituration.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

burrifinger - What you can make rather than a burrito if you have only fingers -- or, the price of fingers is cheaper than toes. Alternative to burritoes.

e.g., There's been a recall on toes, so we have to make burrifingers.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

deventually - At any point in the future ... maybe.

e.g., Deventually, Stev-o-matic will start making sense.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

umpteen quadrillion ages of olde - forever, figuratively and exaggeratedly speaking.

e.g., It should only take Steve umpteen quadrillion ages of old to find just the right word to express himself accurately.

submitted by steve zihlavsky - (www)

needsta - A simple combination of the words "Needs" and "To"

e.g., My tummy needsta stop hurting; otherwise, I may hurl.

submitted by Sailor - (www)

wumbo-jumbo - Something which appears to be ridiculous, made up, or implausible, but actually contains an unexpected element of truth or genius.

e.g., I thought that Wumbology was a pseudo-science, but when it correctly predicted that my cat would be run over by a steamroller, I realized that it was wumbo-jumbo.

submitted by Ben Peters - (www)

- Google «"atom bomb" vs. "atomic bomb"».

e.g., Google «"in to" vs. into».

submitted by - (www)

xxmyzllwth - (Pronounced Ex-mizzle-width) A word that is either unpronounceable or uncomfortable to say.

e.g., Sesquipedalian is an xxmyzllwth, so most doctors recommend using the word "long" instead.

submitted by Ben Peters

numb bers - Numeric data of such horrific import that it freezes with shock an observer's ability to think, feel, or react normally.

e.g., NUMB BERS IN THE NEWS May 14,2014 -- Climate Central stated that a recent scientific study indicates that climate change has triggered an unstoppable decay of the West Antarctic Ice Sheet -- by 2100 it is likely to result in a 7 to 10 feet rise in global oceans -- submersing 28,800 square miles of American coastal property, displacing 12.3 million people. Property damage in Florida alone, is predicted to be in excess of $950 billion dollars. September 23,2014 -- The UN Health agency, WHO, reports that the Ebola health crisis is estimated to spread to affect 1.4 million individuals by mid-January, 2015. There is no known cure or vaccine for the disease, only "supportive intensive care." December 26th, 2014 -- Memorial services were held in Indonesia, Thailand and other countries to commemorate the 10th year anniversary of the Indian Ocean tsunami that killed 220,000 people.

submitted by Charlie Lesko

jumblicating - The act of explaining an idea that that the brain has not yet organized into proper sentences, causing it to be messy and nearly incomprehensible.

e.g., "Oh! What if we did the thing with the turny-bit, and then the wiggly thinger won't not be like that!" "Bill, you're jumblicating again."

submitted by Ben Peters

totalgia - (total + nostalgia) - nostalgic aspiration for totality, unity with the people, national solidarity, traditional holistic values.

e.g., Many people in post-communist countries are suffering with totalgia, longing for the lost ideal of social equality. | Totalitarianism in Russia is only partly gone. It is still alive in totalgia, in nostalgia for the old Soviet superpower.

submitted by Mikhail Epstein - (www)

sympsychosis - A union of two or more people who are psychologically dependent on each other, like living entities are in symbiosis.

e.g., The sympsychosis between spouses often leads both of them to a nervous breakdown.

submitted by Mikhail Epstein - (www)

justpoze - Juxtapose.

e.g., Must have heard something on TV as I was dozing to make me think of justpozing the two words in that order.

submitted by Miss Speller

gdos - "Green's Dictionary of Slang is an unprecedented 10.3 million-word collection of the impertinent, vile, censored, hip, witty, and fascinating slang words of the English language. Covering five centuries of innovation in all English-speaking regions of the world, the Dictionary is the most authoritative, scholarly approach to slang ever attempted. Over 100,000 words are defined; each word is authenticated by genuine and full-referenced citations of its use. This is a remarkable work by the leading slang lexicographer of our time."

e.g., How could I have missed gdos? It's been out since 2011.

submitted by HD Fowler

contrabilateral - Containing and juxtaposing two equal parts, with each part being the opposite of the other.

e.g., I had a contrabilateral suit that I made myself. It was black on the left side, and white on the right.

submitted by Ben Peters

playwrong - A playwright wannabe who lacks the wherewithal to be one. (Doubtful that this is original, but I've never run across it.)

e.g., Mac has made absolutely no progress finding someone to produce his latest effort. He's never going to realize that he's a talentless hack, one of the premier playwrongs of our age.

submitted by [Peter Wong]

ageitis - A condition where you can't remember things due to old age.

e.g., I'm sorry I can't remember your name I have ageitis.

submitted by Elsie

asshole forceps - A large extractor tool, used not for extraction butt for insertion. Must have heard something on TV as I was dozing to make me think of juxtaposing the two words in that order.

e.g., "What we need is asshole forceps of sufficient size to allow us to spread the cheeks of the miserable critter wide enough to push in a large apple." "I'll bet you can find some in the maternity ward of the nearest hospital. The ones used to deliver babies suffice."

submitted by beelzebub

spewdodictionary - A lexicon developed exclusively for writing rants.

e.g., I think the year-long hiatus when the back end was down may have caused us to lose more than a few submitters. The result has been an inclination for this to be turned into a spewdodictionary.

submitted by HD Fowler

procripitate - The stuff that you do while procrastinating, instead of what you should be doing, or the end result of your procrastination. Suggested by "precipitate -- a substance created by an action."

e.g., John made origami fish instead of doing his homework; they were the procripitate.

submitted by Ben Peters - (www)

procratalyst - The thing that you should be doing instead of procrastinating, or the thing that you are trying to avoid doing by procrastinating. Suggested by "catalyst -- the person or thing that precipitates an event."

e.g., Homework was a huge procratalyst for John; He would avoid it my any means necessary.

submitted by Ben Peters - (www)

predjudist - Of one who is unfairly prejudiced towards those who show prejudice towards protected minorities. {ED. Also spelled preducist.}

e.g., If you don't tolerate Nazism, then you're being predudist.

submitted by Ben Peters - (www)

taft - Puffy and soft. Possibly warm and huggable, but not necessarily.

e.g., I rubbed my cat's belly, and it was very taft.

submitted by Ben Peters - (www)

169 - (Pronounced "one-six-nine; n.) 1. Incredibly bad bad luck; (adj.) 2. (Often "169th," pronounced "one-sixty-ninth") Of or pertaining to incredible bad luck; (v.) 3. To cause, attract, or impose incredibly bad luck. [From the product of 13 x 13, which is 169. ... IF you believe that 13 is bad luck.]

e.g., "I tried to water the plants---simple, right?---but I spilled the pitcher on my new carpet. So I went to get some towels to soak up the puddle, but I tripped and fell against the dryer. Then I had to use the towels there to soak up the blood from the cut in my head. Once I got the bleeding under control, I grabbed some clean towels and headed back to the living room, but slipped in the blood and broke my tailbone. I called my wife's office, and while I was on hold, I fainted from blood loss. ...The carpet was ruined." "Holy cow. That was some 169."

submitted by scott m. ellsworth

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